Russdogg3

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Saint Amant, United States
37 years-old
Tuesday 09 February 1988
couple

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Russdogg3's favorite FMLs

By "Melondy" - 10/04/2019 11:00 - United Kingdom - Hatfield

Today... I performed oral sex on my boyfriend and somehow dislocated my jaw. We were at his parent's house and we had to go downstairs and tell them what had happened. They drove me to the hospital and because my jaw was so locked, the doctors had to sedate me to pop it back into place...FML

agreeclassic 1 911

vote type 1 402

Blasted

By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

agreeclassic 28 070

vote type 1 2 973

Congratu…

By Anonymous - 10/06/2015 16:13 - United States - Inez

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

agreeclassic 40 997

vote type 1 8 743

By frozenpoo - 21/01/2015 02:05 - United States

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

agreeclassic 34 670

vote type 1 5 023

By chumman - 06/05/2014 13:55 - United States - New York

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

agreeclassic 58 185

vote type 1 20 932