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Hiznacious

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nnnnn, United States
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Saturday 01 October 1994

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lovers5201

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garciafami...

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facchi

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Anonymous - 25/07/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML

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FYouBoyfriend - 30/08/2010 17:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

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Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

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You dolt!

ilovefootball - 07/09/2009 19:21 - United States

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

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Ain't nobody got time for that

Rawf - 18/07/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, at work, a customer called in and asked me to read off every item on our menu, along with their ingredients. I work at Jamba Juice so that's a lot of reading. After about 10 minutes of this, I found out it was actually my stupid co-worker calling from the back phone. FML

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