Oasis98_fml

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Oasis98_fml's favorite FMLs

Cosy chat

By sick and awkward - 20/05/2012 06:11 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

agreeclassic 32 380

vote type 1 3 590

By slayerdeath - 20/05/2012 05:19 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

agreeclassic 28 638

vote type 1 2 550

Happy Birthday

By Schubey - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - North Bay

Today, I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "Happy birthday!" before they left. FML

agreeclassic 37 760

vote type 1 2 163