•
•
•

cynically

0

0

19

45

3318

118

masshole

Cynically

i like food and vidya gaems.

Cynically -

Cynically -

Cynically

lovers5201

Kacee7516

macharicha...

MartineAve...

libex

plmoto

jbuckets_4...

yuno_gasai...

jbivens199...

delfino160...

AirBusDriv...

maaj

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

delfino160...

AirBusDriv...

SEROKE

Cynically

Cynically

The kindness of strangers

Samprib - 01/06/2013 05:09 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was, "God forbid a maxed-out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

73 737

21 086

Baby fever

SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

71 426

6 569

Poke-baller

Anonymous - 07/06/2013 07:10 - United States - Marion

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

61 046

70 261

People of Walmart

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

75 917

4 719

Defeated

Anonymous - 01/07/2012 23:08

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

39 195

5 462