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MauriceWinifred

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Vancouver, Canada
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Wednesday 10 July 1991

Mauricewinifred

Hola, me hablo espanol

Mauricewinifred -

Mauricewinifred -

Mauricewinifred

lovers5201

[196157386...

MidnaLink

beanfreek

yourlifere...

Josh Sovs

shmoooopie

TheGreaste...

ikeb

ragnarok15...

Lesbiantra...

JimmyL_101

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Benmantha

wileyking4...

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Mauricewinifred

Mauricewinifred

Anonymous - 09/01/2011 01:11 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

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Anonymous - 02/01/2011 00:51 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend told me to stuff my bra before going to a party with him and his friends because he didn't want to be embarrassed. FML

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Big question

snoozerlooser - 25/12/2010 00:00 - Canada

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question." Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

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ewicsmelly - 29/12/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

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Automaton

Jessie - 25/12/2010 13:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

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