dallasneely

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Dallasneely's favorite FMLs

Eeeeeeeeeeek!

By KTK - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized the annoying squealing I hear every night isn't my guinea pig. Apparently my brother's girlfriend makes that sound when they have sex. FML

agreeclassic 50 980

vote type 1 3 539

Stay classy

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 19:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

agreeclassic 48 820

vote type 1 3 802

Hide and seek champion

By Anonymous - 20/12/2010 17:09 - United States

Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML

agreeclassic 39 375

vote type 1 9 874

By fckdsamaritan - 16/12/2010 19:35 - Tunisia

Today, I helped a man with a neck brace get on the bus. I fell asleep, only to wake up later on to him gratuitously stroking my breasts with his elbow. FML

agreeclassic 32 458

vote type 1 4 337

Bad influence

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Singapore

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

agreeclassic 33 431

vote type 1 12 015