turkeyblobs

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Turkeyblobs's favorite FMLs

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

agreeclassic 53 935

vote type 1 10 336

By Cian_1 - 25/11/2013 11:22 - United Kingdom - Cholsey

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

agreeclassic 38 077

vote type 1 29 490

Cian_1 app_comment_confession_title

Cian_1 28

Tuesday 26 November 2013 8:08

What else am I to call something that keeps saluting me? ;D

Long road ahead

By Catcrap! - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Rialto

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

agreeclassic 47 635

vote type 1 6 516

By Misaki18 - 03/09/2013 17:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

agreeclassic 47 651

vote type 1 6 237

Misaki18 app_comment_confession_title

Misaki18 17

Wednesday 4 September 2013 7:28

Yeah he thinks he's better than me , I feel like a Cinderella after midnight while he's the prince. He's always bragging about how good looking, smart, and charismatic he is and now it's worse. -_-

By Anonymous - 31/05/2013 04:16 - United States - Pleasant Grove

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

agreeclassic 68 614

vote type 1 15 030