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    : 320



    Global stinking

    Anonymous - - United Kingdom - Bristol

    Today, my boyfriend told me he thinks brushing his teeth and doing anything basically hygienic is unnecessary now, because, "we're all going to die out around about 2050 anyway." FML
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    Happy New Year!

    Anonymous -

    Today, my New Year’s Eve consisted of four things: being home alone, drinking cheap alcohol out of a tooth mug, getting an upset stomach from that, then going to bed early with ear plugs. FML
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    Point made

    Anonymous - 23/01/2026 00:00

    Today, to prove to my wife that she's incapable of leaving on time, I told her we needed to leave by 6 and gave her no further reminders. At 6:45 she “still need 5 more minutes.” Then she got mad when she came downstairs at 7:20 and I was in my pyjamas, because what's the fucking point leaving now? FML
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    Brat winter

    Single again - 04/01/2026 22:00

    Today, my girlfriend's kid was acting silly and cutting up in a busy parking lot. I saw a car coming towards him and yanked him to my side. He started crying and my girlfriend screamed at me for "being mean" to him. I should have let the brat get hit, I guess. If this is the stepdad life, fuck it, I'm out. FML
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    Good comeback

    Juice Ko Day! - 27/12/2025 03:00

    Today, three minutes into on our Christmas Family Reunion, I got kicked out and now probably permanently. What did I do? My aunt, who NEVER FAILS to do this, did loudly the, "Wow! You've gotten fat!" greeting on me, whereas I responded with an even louder, "And WOW! You've gotten even uglier!" FML
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    Playing favorites

    So sick of disrespect - 21/01/2026 22:00

    Today, I was making dinner for my family while my wife was at work. She walked in the door with McDonald's, even though she knew I was cooking. Then our kids saw and started screaming that they wanted McDonald's too and that it was unfair. I've told her not to pull this shit and she won't listen. FML
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    Nice

    Screwed - 28/12/2025 03:00

    Today, I'm diagnosed with a terminal liver cancer. I live abroad, away from my family, so I called them and asked them to come visit me, possibly for the last time. I even offered to pay for the travel both ways. The mother, with a quite indifferent tone, declined my offer and hung up the fuckin' phone on me! FML
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    Won't someone think of the landlords?

    Broke - 27/12/2025 12:00

    Today, it's been months since I inherited a nice house, only to discover it overrun with squatters. I had to legally evict them, costing thousands. When they were ordered to vacate, they set the house on fire. Now I have a blackened ruin and depleted savings. FML
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    What would you do?

    Lisania - 11/01/2026 03:00

    Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I'd trusted that he and his ex were “co-parenting” a dog that he and his ex adopted while they were together and nothing more was happening. His ex is pregnant and he’s the father. He insists that he doesn’t love her anymore and it was a “mistake.” He wants me to take him back. FML
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    Imperial death march

    Fuck you dad - 05/01/2026 09:00

    Today, my "president" invaded another country and stole their president to face bullshit "charges." I'm so disgusted to be from this place. I want to move somewhere else but I'm disabled. FML
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    Tense

    Juan - 08/01/2026 15:00

    Today, my wife decided to quit nicotine. I came home to find my Xbox, Playstation, Switch, and PC burning in our fire pit. FML
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    Time to let go

    - 15/01/2026 22:00

    Today, my husband is leading us into financial ruin by insisting on paying for his senior dog’s cancer treatment, but the poor thing is so old and miserable, I’m pretty sure it’s animal abuse at this point. He won’t listen to reason, our bills are all past due, and my car is about to get repossessed. FML
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    Let me think about it

    Girl - 31/12/2025 15:00

    Today, my boyfriend proposed. He said, "Will you be the Eva Braun to my Adolf Hitler?" I struggle to think of a worse way to propose to a girl. FML
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    Link please

    Anonymous - 22/01/2026 03:00

    Today, my wife sold her first painting and was so proud of herself, until she found the buyer online and realized his YouTube page is full of videos where he paints over horrible art and turns it into good art. Her painting was on it, and yes, he visibly improved it and yes, my wife is raging at me. FML
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    I'll see you in court

    UGGHhhhhh - 13/01/2026 00:00

    Today, my nail client came with yet another sob story about a bill being on autopay and they took it from her account before her appointment. I set boundaries and said I won’t proceed until I’m paid in full (She owes over $300). She responded by trashing my shop. $1000 in nail polish supplies down the drain. FML
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    Mommy's boy

    Fed up - 07/01/2026 09:00

    Today, for the hundredth fucking time, my stepson asked for a snack twenty minutes before dinner. When I told him no, he cried to his mom, who yelled at me and gave him a granola bar. Then, when dinner came, he "wasn't hungry", picked at his food, and fussed and cried. FML
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    Too soon

    Emilie B - 20/01/2026 12:00

    Today, my mother-in-law in all seriousness told my daughter to not wear shorts and skirts because “men will ogle and rape her.” When I confronted her about it, she told me, “I’m only looking out for her. Is that so wrong?” She’s 9 and she won’t stop asking what “rape” means. FML
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    My house, anyone's rules

    Anonymous - 23/01/2026 22:00

    Today, my parents moved my senile grandpa in with us, but he keeps yelling at me for gaming and sometimes just switches my computer off. This is my house, not theirs. I work remotely, I’m not gaming, and their unemployed asses can’t even watch him closely enough to keep him out of my home office. FML
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    Bite the bullet

    Anonymous - 05/01/2026 00:00

    Today, I got terminated. I don’t know how to tell my family that I no longer have a job. FML
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    Moving on fast

    Anonymous - 09/01/2026 03:00

    Today, my dad's new girlfriend, who he met in Vegas, flies in. My mother is still alive in a dementia care facility. I don't know how to feel about this. FML
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    Trapped

    Anonymous - 19/01/2026 15:00

    Today, I realized I'm in a horribly toxic marriage. My wife offered to let me sleep in, and my first thought was, "This is a trap, in thirty minutes she'll be yelling at me for being lazy." I tested it. Yup, it was a trap. FML
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    Is this another Tictac thing?

    Anonymous - 25/01/2026 00:00

    Today, my girlfriend hit me on the head with a frying pan for a funny video, because she thought it would go bonk and make me do a funny reaction. She must be a new kind of stupid cause I got four stitches, a hairline fracture, and a headache. FML
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    Yadda yadda yadda

    Anonymous - 04/01/2026 20:00

    Today, our desks were rearranged. I was seated next to a coworker who spends the entire day on the phone, chatting loudly with his relatives in another country while he works. I complained that it was distracting. Management won't do anything about it and warned me that "my complaints reek of racism." FML
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    Infectious

    Looupyloou - 07/01/2026 12:00

    Today, it's day four of liquid ass and violent hurling after I hosted a birthday party for my daughter, and one of the kids brought a stomach virus rather than a present. Yesterday my daughter started with the violent vomiting too. Everything smells like vomit in my home. Yay me! FML
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    Happy birthday, huh?

    - 19/01/2026 22:00

    Today, I told my family that for my birthday I didn’t want to do any chores and just wanted the house cleaned. What they heard was mom won’t do chores today so let’s leave them all for her tomorrow. I didn’t even have a clean mug for coffee this morning. FML
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    How could you?

    Not a cheater - 04/01/2026 15:00

    Today, I was looking over reservations for an upcoming work trip, and saw that my work would cover the "romance package" at a nice hotel. I laughed. My coworkers laughed. When I told my wife, not only did she not laugh, she burst into tears and screamed, "I knew you were cheating!" FML
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    He has spoken

    Anonymous - 19/01/2026 00:00

    Today, I discovered that my deceased mother, God rot her festering soul, wrote me and only me out of her will. All my other siblings are wealthy; I’m the only one in financial trouble after my divorce. And why did mom hate me so much? Because I’m divorced and God says divorce is bad. FML
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    Pay attention

    Anonymous - 30/12/2025 03:00

    Today, my girlfriend is actually mad at me for not noticing she was two months pregnant. Since we met she’s always had a bit of a belly, and her default clothing is always a big hoodie or dressing gown, she even wears jumpers to bed, so how was I supposed to spot that tiny bit of weight gain? FML
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    Many such cases!

    Tired son - 30/12/2025 15:00

    Today, my parents won’t shop at stores they think are "woke" anymore. Now they drive 35 minutes extra to a different grocery store, complain about gas the whole way, and pay double for basics. Somehow this is still the previous government’s fault. FML
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    Protect your pipes

    Sam - 03/01/2026 03:00

    Today, my upstairs neighbor's pipe burst because they forgot to close their porch door and, well, Wisconsin winter. My apartment is flooded and I'm spending my little money on a hotel. I think I'm homeless. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I backed my car into a parked car in a parking lot. Not only did I back into a parked car, but it was the ONLY parked car there. FML
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    Today, I went to the bar I go to every week. My favorite bartender told me I owed $50 for a tab because the waiter screwed up and undercharged me. The tab was from when my friends bought me drinks to cheer me up because my girlfriend moved away. I ended up paying for my own drinks, plus theirs. FML
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    Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML
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    Today, I told my boss I was bored of being a cashier and would rather go to food prep. He told me I couldn't because my arms were too hairy. I'm a sixteen year old girl. FML
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    Today, my college economics class had a big test. We all needed a Scantron sheet, but some people forgot some. I had an extra one and this really hot girl offered to buy it for $1.00. I said I'd give it to her for her number. She looked around and asked, "Does anyone else have an extra?" FML
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    Today, I left on a 2 month trip. I was in a hurry to pack so I wouldn't miss my plane. There were 2 piles of clothes on my bed. One pile was clothes that didn't fit to take to a thrift store, one was to take with me. Guess which one I brought? FML
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