App

FMyLife

search






FMyLife FMyLife
search
​



    : 320



    Just trying to help

    Dave - 28/05/2025 09:00 - United States

    Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
    382
    184
      

    Never in public

    Red - 02/06/2025 15:00 - Netherlands

    Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a beautiful park. It would have been perfect if it wasn't for some fat incel recording it on his phone, yelling about how much of a douche my boyfriend is, and how I'm such a "Stacy". FML
    501
    90
      

    Seriously?

    Anonymous - 06/06/2025 02:00

    Today, my husband got home on my birthday and told me he went overboard and bought a real expensive gift for his favourite girl. He then turned round and gave the real expensive gift to the girl in question, his 3 year-old niece. It’s not even her birthday. I got fuck all. FML
    538
    116
      

    Bad week

    poopface82 - 07/06/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, my week started off with cleaning up a literal dumpster fire. Since then, I’ve been falsely accused of stealing someone’s welcome mat, had my water shut off, and had to miss three days of work in order to correct my child care voucher. FML
    408
    78
      

    New look, huh?

    Dave - 15/06/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

    Today, I tried a new beard trimmer that has a laser guide. I somehow set it too close to my skin and shaved a completely bald line straight through the middle of my beard. Now I look like a magician with a flesh mustache divider, or a bassist from a 90s nu-metal band. FML
    120
    332
      

    Sounds about right

    Anonymous - 18/06/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I spent an hour frantically searching for my car keys, turning the entire apartment upside down. After giving up and calling a locksmith, I found the keys… in the fridge. Because apparently I put my leftover pizza on top of them. FML
    142
    381
      

    First world problems

    Anonymous - 20/06/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, my Brita filter for my pitcher needs a replacement. This wouldn't be even remotely that big of a deal, except this month I also ran out on a few other necessities that weren't exactly what one would call cheap. I'm trying to both save money but also learn more healthy habits (like drinking more water). FML
    195
    258
      

    Pay attention

    Anonymous - 04/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Newport

    Today, I was at a busy restaurant and, in a rush, walked into the men’s restroom instead of the women’s. I was so focused on my phone that I didn’t notice the stares, or the guy at the sink giving me the confused glare. When I finally looked up and saw the urinals, I practically sprinted out. FML
    72
    626
      

    His little lipstick

    poopface82 - 06/07/2025 02:00 - United States

    Today, I was exhausted after three solid weeks of having my kids. After I got home, my dog decided to get intimate with his stuffed animal toy. I now know what my dog’s dong looks like, and that he’s gotten more action in the last two months than I have. FML
    279
    229
      

    Oddly specific turn off

    FatCoco - 07/07/2025 21:00 - United States

    Today, my Tinder date ordered a separate check and said there won’t be a second date, all because I ordered my meal without vegetables. FML
    262
    434
      

    Boom!

    Anonymous - 09/07/2025 13:00 - United States

    Today, my husband is such a tight-wadded cheapskate that his idea of “taking the family out” is going to Costco to try all the samples. PS: Yes, I work too, so he’s not the only “provider", he’s just cheap and boring as all hell. FML
    414
    146
      

    Check, please!

    No second date - 13/07/2025 06:00 - United States

    Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML
    419
    170
      

    Another Luigi moment

    Anonymous - 16/07/2025 21:00 - United States - Acton

    Today, I seized at the bottom of the stairs and broke a rib. I don't have enough money to pay the bill. I don't know what to do. FML
    447
    63
      

    Under pressure

    Anonymous - 18/07/2025 23:30 - India - Jamshedpur

    Today, after having pulled like three all-nighters and studying hardcore for months, when it came down to it, I couldn't solve even one question. I almost broke down. FML
    388
    107
      

    I've got a lot going on, OK?

    Anonymous - 20/07/2025 15:00 - South Africa

    Today, I'm going to visit my mother in hospital. She broke her hip and my father refused to take her to hospital for 6 days, insisting she would get better. My dog had cancer surgery, which will cost me a whole month's salary. I’m still recovering from 2 major surgeries myself, and my kids are being total dorks. FML
    455
    95
      

    Clinging on

    Jeremy - 26/07/2025 00:00 - Australia - Adelaide

    Today, I did laundry after weeks of procrastinating. Feeling accomplished, I wore a freshly cleaned hoodie to work. Halfway through the day, I discovered my niece’s Paw Patrol underwear clinging to the inside of my hood. I’d been walking around with Chase the Police Dog flapping behind my head. FML
    331
    206
      

    Sounds delightful

    Why? Fucking nerd - 27/07/2025 14:00 - United States - New York

    Today, I stupidly let my friend, who is obsessed with wacky YouTube music channels, have access to a playlist for my party. We ended up listening to Simpsons quotes cut up and spliced into EDM. FML
    91
    369
      

    Socialite

    Shelley05 - 29/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Santa Fe

    Today, I showed up to my friend’s birthday party with a huge cake... on what turned out to be the wrong day. The actual party is tomorrow. Her family laughed and thought if was cute, but I just wanted the floor to open up and let me disappear. FML
    365
    145
      

    EVERYTHING COMPUTER

    Anonymous - 02/08/2025 00:00 - United States

    Today, I spent several minutes trying to log into my email, only to realize I was typing my work password instead of my personal one. After three failed attempts, my account locked me out for 24 hours. Now I can’t check my emails or reset the password because they need me to check my email. FML
    184
    345
      

    Sleeping beauty

    Anonymous - 05/08/2025 15:00 - United States - Portland

    Today, I was in a movie theater trying to stay awake during a boring film that my girlfriend really wanted to see. Next thing I know, I’m snoring loudly. My girlfriend sharply nudged me awake, and I realized the people in the row in front of me were giggling at me like I was a hibernating cartoon bear. FML
    190
    426
      

    Sociopaths

    piggies - 07/08/2025 02:00 - United States

    Today, I met my husband's coworkers, one of whom told us about how he shot pigs from a helicopter. My husband thought it was awesome. I started crying. That's just cruel. FML
    362
    345
      

    How to make it awkward for everyone

    Anonymous - 09/08/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, I got a haircut at a fancy salon and made small talk with the stylist. While she washed my hair, I said, “Wow, this is better than my girlfriend does it.” She replied, “That’s because I’m a professional. Also, I’m your girlfriend’s cousin.” FML
    106
    456
      

    Packed in

    Anonymous - 10/08/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

    Today, I was on a packed bus when my phone rang. I tried to answer, but my wired earbuds got tangled. I tugged too hard, yanking my phone out of my hand. It flew forward, smacked a man in the forehead, then bounced into a stranger’s coffee cup. FML
    244
    347
      

    Better safe than sorry

    Anonymous - 21/08/2025 23:00 - Australia

    Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
    365
    86
      

    Care more, you monster!

    Trap Gunner - 23/08/2025 15:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

    Today, my mom cussed me out because I'm "the only one who didn't really care," I "didn't try hard enough" to find a hospital to accommodate my older sister's (and her beloved little baby's) condition. I tried over 20 hospitals, and those that had an MRI facility couldn't take her because of the mere fact that she wouldn't fit in them. FML
    430
    82
      

    Overenthusiastic

    Jeremy - 25/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

    Today, I was at the gym trying out the rowing machine. On my first pull, I leaned too far back, lost my balance, and launched myself straight off the seat. I landed on the mat behind me while people around me pretended not to laugh. FML
    336
    159
      

    Nope, no thanks

    Alone - 26/08/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, three members of my five-person polycule moved away, leaving myself and one other girl. I really liked her, so I was okay… until she split because she "didn't want to be in a boring straight relationship." FML
    263
    388
      

    Losing it

    Anonymous - 30/08/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s just like my mother, except she got hers in her 70’s after she lived a life. Mine is early onset so I’m losing my mind in my 30’s and I’ve done nothing with my life except work to afford rent and my next meal. I don’t even have a wife or kids damn it. FML
    718
    90
      

    Great advice

    Toxic masculinity - 03/09/2025 07:00 - Japan - Tokyo

    Today, my son told me he liked a girl at school. I told him to be extra sweet to her, carry her bag, and make every day brighter for her. My husband snorted and said, "That's simp shit. Don't do any of that. Act like a man, and if she's not into you, shrug and move on." FML
    411
    301
      

    Glad to help

    Anonymous - 04/09/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, while waiting in line at Starbucks, the person behind me started venting about their breakup. I assumed they were on the phone with a friend, so I nodded along. After 5 minutes, I realized they were talking directly to me. I ended up giving relationship advice while holding a frappuccino I didn’t even order. FML
    319
    168
      
    • 64
    • 65
    • 66
    • 67
    • 68
    • 69
    • 70
    • 71
    • 72
    • 73

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, at my cousin's wedding, there was a bouquet toss. I jumped to catch it, only to get knocked down and crushed by a woman twice my size who'd jumped backwards. It still feels like someone shattered my ribs with a sledgehammer. FML
    26 843
    2 818
    Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML
    56 860
    6 669
    Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML
    48 619
    17 449
    Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML
    43 872
    5 832
    Today, a close friend pointed out to me how ironic it is that I make the Sim version of myself work out to lose weight, while I sit on my fat ass playing video games. FML
    11 585
    53 536
    Today, I got undressed in front of my boyfriend for the first time. His reaction? "You're chubbier than I expected." FML
    46 563
    4 762

    © VDM SAS,

    ​