App

FMyLife

search






FMyLife FMyLife
search
​



    : 320



    Coyness is nice, and coyness can stop you…

    Krissy - 01/04/2025 22:00 - United States

    Today, I went to a friend's party, only to realize I was in the wrong apartment, after getting the address confused. Instead of awkwardly leaving, I stayed for a bit and pretended I was someone’s cousin. I was oddly suspicious that no one noticed me mingling, but then it turned out to be a shady MLM recruitment party for a leggings company. FML
    106
    416
      

    But… I'm hungry!

    Anonymous - 05/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

    Today, I ordered a pizza for delivery after a long day. When the delivery guy showed up, I realized I had no cash, so I tried to pay him using my credit card. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember the PIN, and after three failed attempts, the delivery guy just stared at me in awkward silence and said, "It’s okay, I’ll just take the pizza back." FML
    110
    507
      

    Lose-lose

    Anonymous - - United Kingdom

    Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML
    31 496
    8 024
      

    **** you, Steve

    Not Steve - 08/04/2025 22:00 - United States - Sacramento

    Today, after my company laid off half the contractors I usually deal with and replaced them with AI tools, I spent my day “collaborating” with a chatbot that keeps calling me Steve. My name isn’t Steve. FML
    456
    65
      

    Make it stop

    Kate is late - 16/04/2025 00:00 - United States

    Today, I went to a friend's house and was so excited to try her fancy bathroom with a “smart toilet.” The toilet had a “sensitive” bidet feature, and when I tried to stand up, it somehow thought I was still sitting and started spraying repeatedly. I just froze while standing, as it repeatedly splashed water on my ass. FML
    184
    307
      

    Bad kitty

    Anonymous - 21/04/2025 02:00 - United States - Taylor

    Today, after coming home with a delicious chocolate cake that I bought for Easter for my family, I realized my mom's cat was chewing on the end of my cellphone charging cord that I left on the floor in a rush to head out the door. I'd only just bought the cord yesterday and the cat chewed on it so hard, the plug's bent. FML
    189
    311
      

    Pigpen

    Anonymous - 22/04/2025 18:00 - United States - Riverside

    Today, my husband is furious with me for hurting his daughter’s feelings. Neither he nor his ex make her shower and she smells disgusting! It’s nearly impossible to even sit in the same room with her, as her odor changes the smell of the entire space. All I did was suggest a bath and she cried. FML
    647
    117
      

    More cheese

    Anonymous - 19/05/2025 22:00 - United States

    Today, while I was babysitting, one of the kids looked at me very seriously and asked, “Why do you have sad eyes like my dad did after he lost all his money?” I don’t even know the kid’s dad. I just wanted to make mac and cheese. FML
    367
    82
      

    Jaded

    Anonymous - 26/05/2025 23:00

    Today, after my son got his first girlfriend at 19, a nice girl as well, he broke up with her after 3 days because women are "too much effort", too "expensive", and keep trying to make him "do things." Unbelievable. Three days with a woman turned him into a cynical 65 year-old who's been married for 40 years. FML
    393
    178
      

    Exploitation

    Anonymous - 08/06/2025 00:00 - United States - Baldwin Park

    Today, our boss told me and her other salaried staff, "There is literally no problem this office faces that can't be solved by you all working after hours and on weekends." FML
    495
    73
      

    Trip of a lifetime

    Just got friendzoned - 24/06/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, on a vacation with my best friend who I’m secretly in love with, I was dressed to the nines, and felt confident and upbeat about myself. Not once has he made a move on me the entire time, not even in the hotel room we both shared. At the end of the trip he told me I’m “such a great friend.” FML
    139
    696
      

    You made your bed…

    Anonymous - 01/07/2025 05:00 - United States

    Today, I’m being blamed for being an unsupportive wife and breaking up the family after I left my husband. Let’s see: he was cheating, she got him hooked on heroin, he now has a crippling addiction, and he cleaned out our shared bank account. How the fuck should I support that? FML
    714
    68
      

    Workout

    Anonymous - 04/07/2025 22:00 - Canada

    Today, my fitness tracker congratulated me on reaching 10,000 steps. Feeling slightly proud of myself for sticking to my health goals, I went to bed early, only to find out it was counting the steps I took pacing around, trying to find my lost keys for two hours. FML
    194
    301
      

    Scarred for life

    Mortified - 22/07/2025 22:00 - South Africa

    Today, I meant to send a spicy message to my partner, but sent it to my dad due to the Whatsapp conversations being next to each other on my computer screen, and me not paying attention due to being an idiot. My dad replied, “Uh... not sure I needed that mental image.” FML
    85
    578
      

    Get out!

    birdhater - - Australia

    Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML
    26 200
    2 749
      

    I know what I'm doing

    M…… - 06/08/2025 00:00 - Australia - Melbourne

    Today, I walked into a restroom at a restaurant, took one step inside, and realized it was the staff-only restroom. The manager was inside, staring at me like I was an alien. I just smiled and awkwardly walked out. FML
    340
    126
      

    Heated gaming moment

    Anonymous - 09/08/2025 09:00 - United States

    Today, I got a call from my son's friend's dad, demanding I pick him up immediately. When I arrived, he marched me into the house and pointed at an Xbox controller lodged in the wall, informing me I'd be receiving the bill for drywall repair. FML
    462
    212
      

    Chance encounter

    Never chosen - 27/08/2025 02:00 - United States

    Today, I ran into a guy I knew from 3 years ago. He just moved here from out of state and is planning to stay forever. This is the same guy who dated me long distance and dumped me after a while because he “couldn’t handle long distance.” He just got engaged to a girl who lives here. FML
    357
    111
      

    Don't mess with crazy

    Just a joke - 17/09/2025 15:00

    Today, I saw my buddy at the mechanic's on speaker with his wife. I did a very fake female voice and said, “He’s here with me! He’s my man now!” He rushed home to see all his stuff on fire on the front lawn. I had no idea how psycho she was and now he wants to kill me. FML
    114
    651
      

    I think you should leave

    yctb - 21/09/2025 03:00

    Today, after my parents divorced, my father promised to move out in August but has now delayed it until October out of laziness. He's barely spoken to us for months, and when he does, it's with aggressive and childish arrogance. FML
    400
    79
      

    And I love her

    Anonymous - 22/09/2025 22:00

    Today, I wondered who ever came up with the idea that women are elegant and refined. Mine farts like a horse, belches like a bullfrog, eats like a pig, and she's proud of it. Like something out of Shrek. FML
    143
    469
      

    Not feeling it

    BuyersRemorse - 01/10/2025 20:00

    Today, I bought a dragon dildo after many years of curiosity and recently, one too many glasses of wine. As I lined it up next to my forearm, the reality that it would go INTO me set in. I can't return it as it is not the seller's fault. I'm throwing it away tomorrow before someone I know finds it. Curiosity killed the cat. FML
    82
    351
      

    Dude, come on…

    Gym Creeper - 16/10/2025 00:00

    Today, I was doing squats in front of the gym's mirror. I noticed the guy next to me giving me weird looks. I assumed he was judging my form, until I realized I was standing in front of a wall of mirrors that reflected the women’s yoga class behind me. To everyone else, it looked like I was just staring at them while squatting aggressively. FML
    317
    122
      

    Dominatrix

    Grudges - 01/11/2025 20:00

    Today, I found an odd notebook in my wife's desk and opened it. I learned why our sex life has gotten so boring: every time I upset her, she secretly bans something sexual. For instance: "June 16th - dented car - no more lingerie" or "August 9th - forgot wallet on date night - no more rope play." FML
    339
    133
      

    Grandma knows best

    - 08/11/2025 20:00

    Today, I’m beyond pissed off and downright repulsed that my daughter is still in her stupid rebellious phase. it's bad enough that she does shit herself but now she’s involving our grandchildren. She showed up to our annual gathering and my 10 year-old granddaughter had bright purple dyed hair. FML
    134
    862
      

    Granny Smith

    TEETH - 12/11/2025 09:00

    Today, in an attempt to eat healthier snacks, I took an apple to work. I ate it after lunch. Now my teeth are full of bits of apple and I can't focus on my work because it's distracting. Three hours until I can get home and floss. FML
    165
    312
      

    Surveillance

    Bribri - 15/11/2025 22:00

    Today, after a big lunch, my daughter told me she wasn’t hungry and didn’t want a snack. Ten minutes later, the sound of a bag of chips being opened summoned her like a beacon. She burst into the room, shouting, “HOW COULD YOU EAT WITHOUT ME?” I’m apparently not allowed to snack without filing paperwork now. FML
    345
    116
      

    Little helper

    Anonymous - 19/11/2025 12:00

    Today, my 10-year-old "helped" me by “fixing” the parental controls on the iPad. I didn’t ask for help. Now it won’t let me access email, news, or even Google, but it will let me watch 47 hours of baby cartoons. I've been locked out of my own device by someone who can’t eat spaghetti without ruining a shirt. FML
    168
    352
      

    Heeeeeelp!

    baddoggy - - United States

    Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML
    12 284
    23 847
      

    Bulked up

    Angie - 06/01/2026 09:00

    Today, my mother-in-law invited herself to my house to cook lunch. I'm postpartum, depressed, and nursing a two-week old. She fed me four small shrimp and a handful of macaroni. This is what I'll be eating for a month. FML
    367
    78
      
    • 26
    • 27
    • 28
    • 29
    • 30
    • 31
    • 32
    • 33
    • 34
    • 35

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, after agreeing to hang out with my husband and his alcoholic mother after his father’s suicide, my mother-in-law found out that my sister-in-law and I playfully insult each other. She lost her mind and practically bit my head off, relapsed, and blamed my “disrespecting her daughter” on said relapse. FML
    451
    65
    Today, I met my husband's coworkers, one of whom told us about how he shot pigs from a helicopter. My husband thought it was awesome. I started crying. That's just cruel. FML
    362
    345
    Today, the girl of my dreams told me she only wants me for sex and not a relationship. Apparently, she thinks that because I left my ex to be with her, that I’ll do the same thing to her. It’s not like I cheated to be with her. I left my ex when I realized I caught feelings for her. FML
    655
    1 146
    Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd feel like a failure if he went to community college. I'm planning to go to community college next year. FML
    37 385
    4 995
    Today, since my husband has been volunteering to do more of the cooking, I was happy and relieved to have help, until every meal he made had an ungodly amount of spices in it. I overheard him on the phone, saying he’s been purposely making my food inedibly hot so that I’ll eat less and lose weight. FML
    2 002
    312
    Today, it was my 21st birthday. My roommate insisted her friend join us. They both got belligerently drunk while I was pretty sober. We ended the night at 12am with her friend violently sobbing at the bar over her boyfriend, while I played Subway Surfers. Yay. FML
    784
    154

    © VDM SAS,

    ​