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OP here. The episode was the one w the kid and the piano I forgot what the episode is called. And it was near the end when it showed the pianos being played by hands that weren't attached to arms or anything. By "scared the shit out of me" was more like "it's ****** creepy nope nope nope nope nope." The visual just creeped me the **** out. And I skipped forward to the next episode lol. I don't really get scared by horror shit. I can eat a big bloody steak and watch Saw lol. In the end tho I ended up giggling because I'm a sign spinner and I imagined what it'd look like if a pair of hands were spinning a sign. All y'all's comments made my day tho xD

Bad hair day

By Kyrstin Budd - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I noticed a lady at work staring at me very intently. When she realized she had my attention, she made a sweeping gesture over her head and said, "Hair is like Trump!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 312

You deserved it 625

By Rakoric - 16/04/2017 22:00

Today, my wife and I went kayaking for the first time in the ocean. She got seasick and just before she threw up, leaned over the side and tipped the kayak over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 853

You deserved it 422

By Anonymous - 19/04/2017 12:00 - United States

Today, I don't know what's worse, the fact that my hair sheds so much, or the fact that I find most of it in my butt crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 259

You deserved it 432

By nicholascageonyourface - 09/06/2013 05:13 - United States - Papillion

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 54

By kunjac0945 - 14/09/2015 05:21 - United States - New York

Today, I slipped in my own vomit while dashing to the bathroom to puke. My knee hit and shattered the toilet; the toilet shattered my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 684

You deserved it 2 359

kunjac0945 tells us more.

kunjac0945 21

Monday 14 September 2015 16:46

OP here. For clarity's sake, this actually happened to me several years ago, on the first day of my summer break. I had to spend the rest of break, as well as my birthday in a cast.

By natalyV - 04/09/2015 15:58

Today, my boyfriend has been sulking like a moody kid all day, all because I won't set my phone background to a picture of his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 073

You deserved it 3 270

By fuck no - 22/08/2015 10:18 - India - Kollam

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 271

You deserved it 8 038

The customer is always a dong

By Obviously works everywhere - 20/09/2017 23:15

Today, a customer filed a formal complaint with corporate about me, because I wouldn't help her find things she wanted while I was off the clock. We were in a completely different store than the one where I actually work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 957

You deserved it 221

Hit and run

By whyme - 02/09/2016 04:33 - United States

Today, my friend and I were eating in my car in a McDonald's parking lot, when an angry, drunk man stumbled out of the restaurant and into his car. He then hit the McDonald's wall, turned around and sped straight into my car. I only bought it a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 829

You deserved it 1 280

By Anonymous - 23/07/2016 18:36 - United States - Ridgewood

Today, I saw a homeless man on the street and decided to give him the dollar bill I had left in my wallet. He said "Thank you" then as I turned to walk away, he muttered "Cheap-ass cunt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 154

You deserved it 1 545

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 23:31

Today, the guy I broke up with for being too possessive and jealous threatened to leak my nudes if he sees or hears that I've gotten with anyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 670

You deserved it 5 293

By Code_Skull - 30/06/2016 06:53 - Netherlands - Vlissingen

Today, I went to work using the train. While on the train, I fell asleep. I woke up 130km late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 470

You deserved it 2 844

Code_Skull tells us more.

Code_Skull 12

Friday 1 July 2016 8:50

OP here, turns out my boss was also late. Coincidences like this are called "luck" i suppose. about setting an alarm, i've done that but for some reason i slept right trough it. also, dutch trains are pretty crowded at the moment, so nobody thought about waking me up. until the next post thingamading i guess.