Embarrassing, Drunk Health You played yourself

You played yourself

anon - 25/03/2013 18:31 - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

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Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

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Anonymous - 09/12/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

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All over the place

nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

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Worst party ever

Dumbass - 10/01/2019 12:00

Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML

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HeadStillHurts - 26/10/2016 11:43

Today, I tried to impress a group of friends by jumping a set of stairs on my skateboard. I didn't realize the ceiling dropped down towards the bottom of the stairs and knocked myself out. FML

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Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

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Grant Williams - 07/05/2019 17:37

Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML

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nosey - 08/04/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

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Joe Smooth move

Karel - 24/09/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a friend's party and tried to lean casually against a wall while talking to someone. I missed the wall and ended up stumbling backwards into the punch bowl that was atop the coffee table. FML

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Tpracingkg 15

Monday 25 March 2013 23:06

Darwinism

theherd 4

Monday 25 March 2013 23:05

Bye children!

noelasis94 18

Wednesday 27 March 2013 0:06

Does anyone else hear 96 quite bitter beings by cky being played in the background while this was happening?

MissB_1990 4

Wednesday 27 March 2013 4:56

What the **** is WRONG with you?!?!?!?!

Zommie 2

Wednesday 27 March 2013 12:16

You know why? Because you're STUPID.

daniellenb22 4

Wednesday 27 March 2013 14:56

lmfao

MeleeManMarguu 4

Thursday 28 March 2013 0:10

my god........why???

iamthunder 4

Thursday 28 March 2013 16:47

Please tell me someone got it on video!

UnluckyGenius 21

Thursday 28 March 2013 23:03

You must have felt electrified.

ccjl11 2

Tuesday 2 April 2013 2:52

Story of my life...

twaumat 28

Thursday 4 April 2013 6:58

why would you do that to yourself?

twaumat 28

Thursday 4 April 2013 7:00

i mean clearly it was the alcohol, but still...

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML

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Today, while volunteering at my local animal shelter, I was asked to clean the cat room. This entailed taking each cat out of its cage by hand and cleaning the inside. They forgot to mention that some of the cats were feral. I now look like I belly flopped into a cactus. FML

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Today, I spent ages applying for a scholarship online. I found out on the very last page that I do not meet the qualifications for it. FML

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Today, I just finished a driving school that I thought would lower my insurance by 10%. It was 30 hours so I was glad it was over, that was until I found out I took the wrong class. FML

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Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML

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Today, myself and three friends went to a games night and we had to come up with a team name. Since I’m black and they’re all white, they insisted on “Interracial”. FML

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