Roommate, Awkward, Texting Breakfast You know what I mean?

You know what I mean?

Anonymous - 06/04/2022 22:00

Today, I accidentally texted my new housemate saying, “Hey, wanna get freaky before moving in tomorrow morning?” It was supposed to say “breaky”, as in "breakfast." This should be nice and awkward. FML

455

840

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

anonymous - 14/03/2010 14:49 - United States

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

28 966

11 795

Nice try

Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

20 428

32 011

Freud smiled

Anonymous - 08/10/2015 02:14 - United States - Redmond

Today, my mom texted me, asking what I'd like her to get for dinner tonight. I texted back "Something exotic if you're up for it :)". Except I accidentally typed "erotic". I only noticed the typo when I checked after getting no reply. She comes home in a couple of hours. Shit, shit, shit. FML

23 467

4 096

I'm a weirdoooooo

Anonymous - 18/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I sent a text to the girl I like, asking if she wanted to "hang out." Autocorrect changed it to "hand out," and she responded by asking what I was handing out. I panicked and replied, "My love." Now she thinks I'm a weirdo. FML

110

534

More proofreading required

Anonymous - 20/05/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I sent a text to my boss saying, "Looking forward to our meeting tomorrow." Autocorrect changed it to, "Looking forward to our mating tomorrow." My boss replied with, "I think you meant meeting. Let's keep it professional shall we." FML

488

169

Been there, done that

randomgirl - - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe." FML

34 387

15 056

Anonymous - 11/03/2017 12:00

Today, after a brief FaceTime session, I accidentally texted my father what was meant for my boyfriend. I had to downplay it, but it still made me want to crawl 50 ft below the earth and stay there a few days. FML

3 609

1 327

D: - 06/10/2013 17:13 - France - Paris

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

50 427

3 903

Anonymous - 31/07/2018 01:30

Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML

4 032

336

Cunning plan

Anonymous - 16/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was texting a friend about how my date last night went, which gave me a goofy idea: I thought it would be cute to pretend that I'd made a mistake and send my response to my date, just so he'd know how I felt it went. I should've proofread, because instead of “It went well, he was really sweet!”, I sent him “It went well, he was really sweaty!” FML

643

MidnaLink 33

Wednesday 6 April 2022 22:06

I always thought it was "Brekky" for the short form. I'm sure a follow up saying " I meant breakfast" will clear it up.

Wadlaen 23

Wednesday 6 April 2022 23:01

We need an update on how it went!😅

lexxiasaurus 28

Wednesday 13 April 2022 10:03

always proofread!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML

38 780

3 935

Today, I found out that the cute guy who sits in front of me in class and who keeps looking at me over his right shoulder is not interested in me as I had been led to believe. He has mild Tourrette's and his tick happens to be scratching his chin over his right shoulder. FML

4 150

480

Today, as a CNA, I had to go through the belongings of a patient. His phone rang and I answered - it was his boss. As I explained, he cut me off and said to "drop the act" and "he better be there now or he's fired". He was pronounced dead-on-arrival. FML

3 700

201

I'll do it tomorrow

244

Today, I found out that my husband keeps in contact with the woman he was infatuated with in high school. He texts her more than he texts me. FML

34 507

4 224

Today, my fiancée's druggie sister turned up, but I shut the door in her face because the last time she was here £200 went missing and my floor safe had fresh scratches from someone trying and failing to pick the lock. The argument with my fiancée afterwards was so bad, she’s no longer my fiancée. FML

1 215

143