When you're too cute to look angry By Lewis - 31/01/2019 19:00 RESPECT MY AUTHORITHAY!!! I agree, your life sucks 818 You deserved it 485 Share Tweet Share
Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my knob was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML I agree, your life sucks 24 232 You deserved it 6 703
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 062 You deserved it 214
Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML I agree, your life sucks 10 660 You deserved it 813
Today, my girlfriend dumped me when I told her I once got out of jury duty. It was a legitimate reason with evidence from my neurosurgeon, but she thinks I should have done my civic duty, while enduring the pain of screws holding my skull together. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 093 You deserved it 77
Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 799 You deserved it 2 934
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML I agree, your life sucks 52 748 You deserved it 4 491
Today, I came home from living in Spain for 2 years. My mom made dinner for me, and she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, and calling 911 for myself, I heard my mom say to my dad, "She always did have to be the center of attention." FML I agree, your life sucks 66 009 You deserved it 3 796
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 654 You deserved it 5 978
AAAAAAAAHHHHH ✊ *cling*
What did that bell do to you? 😊