When you miss your train By Lewis - 14/12/2018 18:00 Apparently he misses it very much... agreeclassic 280 vote type 1 81 Share Tweet Share
Today, I knew micropenises existed, I just never expected I’d see one in person after spending weeks building my anticipation of losing my virginity, getting naked in front of him, then being presented with half a cocktail sausage. Even if we had sex I think I’d still be a virgin. FML agreeclassic 477 vote type 1 282
Today, our dog is a racist. No other way to say it. We’ve had her since she was born, raised her just like our other dogs, but every time we try to take her for a walk, if she spots a black person, any black person, she barks at them, and once almost bit someone. We don’t know what to do. FML agreeclassic 464 vote type 1 172
Today, my husband drank way too much white wine at a wedding and projectile vomited all over me and my car while I was driving. We were 5 miles from home and I have emetophobia (the fear of vomit/vomiting). FML agreeclassic 854 vote type 1 181
Today, I embarrassed myself and my husband at the wedding of one of his rich cousins by trying caviar for the first time, finding it unbearably disgusting, choking, spitting it out all over the table, and downing three glasses of water to stop myself coughing. Now they think I’m common as muck. FML agreeclassic 681 vote type 1 934
Today, the man I've liked for so long asked me out on a date. Three years ago I fell for him and he denied me unless I "lost 100lbs” Now I've lost about 85lbs (not because of him, but for myself) and he wants to give me the time of day. I still like him, but I feel like I have to watch my weight to keep him if I say “Yes.” FML agreeclassic 350 vote type 1 527
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML agreeclassic 11 826 vote type 1 42 674
I guess his plans got derailed.
Wow he was really training to get there🤣🤣