When it's cold outside By Lewis - 12/12/2018 18:00 It's duck cold! I agree, your life sucks 255 You deserved it 63 Share Tweet Share
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML I agree, your life sucks 29 694 You deserved it 3 360
Today, I found out my best friend made a program to reply to my text messages with random sentences from a list. It took 15 minutes of texting before I finally noticed. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 752 You deserved it 6 355
Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML I agree, your life sucks 52 942 You deserved it 15 687
Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 639 You deserved it 5 512
Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML I agree, your life sucks 30 907 You deserved it 3 700
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Can't, bigamy's illegal." I still don't know if she was joking or not, because she keeps changing the subject whenever I mention it. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 986 You deserved it 3 077