Miscellaneous Wanna come?

Wanna come?

Anathema_360 - 20/09/2009 23:19 - Canada

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Oh, hai!

Anonymous - 25/05/2020 20:00

Today, sleeping in a little late, I was woken up by my phone. Still tired, I quickly checked the display to realize it was my girlfriend calling. I pick up the phone saying, "Hey baby girl!" She seemed pretty startled, so I double-checked and realized it was my new boss, who has the name as my girlfriend. FML

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- 18/02/2017 06:00 - Australia - Frankston

Today, after a recent move into my new apartment, I woke up early to study for an upcoming exam. I hadn't left my bed yet or made a sound, when my neighbor texted me and asked why I was awake. No one in the building has my phone number. FML

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hoody - 22/01/2010 22:27 - United States

Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML

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Overbearing girlfriend

Jake - 16/09/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

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Not now, mom!

Anonymous - 28/09/2020 18:02 - United States - Gillette

Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML

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Ambien nights

Nosy ex - 10/06/2023 22:00

Today, even though I was curious about my ex's new fling, I didn't want to do anything that would put them in an uncomfortable situation. Apparently, that changed when I took an Ambien to get some rest, as I woke up to find out that I'd sleep-followed them. They've already followed me back. FML

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Mr Hyde comes out at night

Anonymous - 27/06/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up to 20 unread messages from my friend asking why I sent her stuff like, “I hate you” and “Get lost” at 3 a.m. Turns out I sleep-texted during a nightmare. Now I have to grovel and apologize for something I don't even remember doing. FML

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He's one of those people

Anonymous - - Canada - Sudbury

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

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Sad_Happy_Gorl - 15/11/2018 22:00

Today, my boyfriend finally answered my Snapchats. He was laying on a bed with purple pillows and sheets. His are gray. FML

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Mistaken identity

fmlfmlfml - 20/07/2009 16:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying, "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!" He got mad and left my house. It was my dad in Ohio. FML

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passwordis_fml 2

Monday 21 September 2009 9:37

hahaha gotta love ur friend

f_alltheirlives 3

Monday 21 September 2009 9:43

So, did the bed do the trick? Thank god for Mark and his genuine intrest in beds

rymo21 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 1:16

that's great so who if any of them did you take up on the offer to test your bed out

tamoodielovesmar 1

Tuesday 7 June 2011 23:13

poor mark, he will be so disappointed when he gets to your house

hateevryone 14

Friday 17 June 2011 22:35

thats kinda funny. but wait why do you still have your ex's number?

bms1996 12

Tuesday 12 July 2011 3:43

hahahahaha awsome friend you got there(:

GiantPancakesOMG 0

Thursday 14 July 2011 4:07

OMG that . is . PROOOO . I would answer each text : Mark : Sorry . The bed has already been broken in . Jon : a shirt , pants , and lingerie . That's 3 things more than what you're wearing . Ex GF : Tell your boyfriend that we should all break the bed in together :)