Too Much Sugar By FML Approved - 20/10/2017 22:00 - United States - New York Sometimes all you can do is sit back and let them get it out of their systems. agreeclassic 473 vote type 1 111 Share Tweet Share
Today, as it's been a long time since I've been with a woman, I decided to enlist the services of an escort. Upon my arrival, she looked at me and said, "Honey, we are going to need a bottle of whiskey and an extra $100." FML agreeclassic 5 808 vote type 1 1 320
Today, I found out my ex had been writing about our relationship to Postsecret. Apparently, she'd been sorry and wanted me back if I still loved her. I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about. I left after 8 months of unreturned texts, calls, emails, and meet-ups. FML agreeclassic 945 vote type 1 96
Today, I moved back in with my parents in order to help them with the mortgage, so they don't lose the house that has been in our family for three generations. I also found out that I now have a curfew, and so does my husband and our 3 year old son. FML agreeclassic 38 614 vote type 1 5 144
Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML agreeclassic 32 234 vote type 1 14 077
Today, I called the guy I've liked for a long time and told him how I felt. He didn't say anything except for "hello." After I spilled my feelings, I hear "Haha, just kidding I'm not here right now! Call me back later!" FML agreeclassic 53 738 vote type 1 8 741
Today, I decided to start jogging again for the first time in months. I made it one block before tripping over the curb. I fell so hard, my phone flew out of my pocket and hit a parked car, setting off its alarm. I ran off when I saw house curtains all around me start to twitch. FML agreeclassic 283 vote type 1 124
when she/he stopped at the top of the stairs, she/he could have stuck a paw out and tripped his ass for running in the house.