Miscellaneous: Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me,...

By fuck off, eh! - 07/03/2014 21:25 - Canada - Milton

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

agreeclassic 47 445

vote type 1 5 094

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By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 03:48 - United States

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

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By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

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By iheartnjdevils - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

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By GonnaLockUpMySpices - 30/10/2015 01:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 14:11

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By Done - 24/11/2020 05:02 - Italy

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By Adrian James - 09/07/2019 12:00

Today, I got into a fight with my roommate's girlfriend's best friend. A few hours later, they had me evicted. FML

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By meh beard - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Bowmanville

Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML

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By 1ndustrytx - 04/09/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/09/2014 17:41 - United States - Mckinney

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

agreeclassic 38 577

vote type 1 3 109

JoshuahColins 19

Saturday 8 March 2014 5:24

Maybe he's just more of a cobblestone kind of guy.

jddrinker 6

Saturday 8 March 2014 5:24

You deserve it for living with a hippie. Next time just punch him in the face.

Comments

TrickyDeath 14

Tuesday 23 February 2016 9:09

niceee.....

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Today, a bit buzzed, I finally gave in to my boyfriend's request and gave him a rimjob. I was licking away when I suddenly realized what I was doing, leapt off the bed, and ran to the toilet to puke. FML

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Today, I took my new iPhone into a technician to complain that when people called me, the audio was very quiet and muffled. Convinced it was a fault, I demanded a replacement. That is when he peeled off the factory issued protective screen that covered the ear piece. FML

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Today, I woke up to news that a document had been made about me and about 50% of my friends left me behind after reading it. None of the alleged acts are true. FML

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Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "He died" and walked off. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She then reminded me that I was at his funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

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Today, I started this show and was really confused what was happening until I realized I accidentally started from the last episode so I basically ruined the whole show for myself. FML

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Today, I was trying out for a local basketball team, so I put extra effort into showing off my baller skills. Unfortunately, I managed to hit myself in the face with the ball, knocking out one of my own teeth. FML

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