Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse?... - FML

By Countdown has begun - 16/05/2019 12:58

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 996

You deserved it 221

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Teach - 31/03/2015 07:40 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 423

You deserved it 2 537

By icyrebel25 - 12/11/2013 23:57 - United States - Mckinney

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 953

You deserved it 5 234

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 441

You deserved it 8 847

Overdoing it

By Zill - 17/11/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 121

By kdeeeceee - 09/11/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 515

You deserved it 4 570

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 511

You deserved it 67 415

Gross and weird

By Porkchop - 14/11/2021 23:00

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that it’s weird to defecate into your hand and throw it from the shower into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 105

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 495

You deserved it 6 579

By Cpm - 01/12/2009 01:55 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 503

You deserved it 5 083

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 379

You deserved it 4 048

Next

Top comments

manb91gb 15

Thursday 16 May 2019 12:59

Today, my boyfriend threw all my stuff out. His excuse? I had to go

zuckerburg 21

Thursday 16 May 2019 16:28

Pedophilia is actually a crime my friend. I would highly recommend dating someone your own age, provided you're not 7 or something

Comments

manb91gb 15

Thursday 16 May 2019 12:59

Today, my boyfriend threw all my stuff out. His excuse? I had to go

bloopaloop 27

Thursday 16 May 2019 15:27

Girls don’t have buttholes. She’s probably a dude.

zuckerburg 21

Thursday 16 May 2019 16:28

Pedophilia is actually a crime my friend. I would highly recommend dating someone your own age, provided you're not 7 or something

Lt_Senpai 21

Thursday 16 May 2019 17:12

Lmao

Charlie Given 26

Thursday 16 May 2019 18:55

She must be a fan of National Lampoon's movie's 😂

Miss Beep 14

Thursday 16 May 2019 20:55

Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do 🤷🏼‍♀️

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 16 May 2019 21:32

The logic is impeccable. It’s your fault for asking the dumb question. You should have asked why she didn’t poop in the toilet like a human being.

donb23 23

Thursday 16 May 2019 22:45

I think what has been overlooked here is because of anal sex she can no longer hold in a dump.

ViviMage 38

Friday 17 May 2019 16:36

So give her a fishnet and have her fish out her turds and pay for the pool chemicals. Just because I have to go doesn't mean I go anywhere like goose. Unless she has no warning at all to get out of the pool, which can happen. FYL.

randybryant799 20

Saturday 26 June 2021 3:16

And she's still your girlfriend? That is disgusting!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said, "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 703

You deserved it 16 736

Today, I was driving when a couple flipped the bird on me before cutting me off, so I flipped them off back. After they'd got away, another driver thought I'd actually been flipping him off and followed me into a parking lot. This guy was huge, and let’s just say he didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 313

The Top

Today, I scored an interview with a hospital nearby my house, and so I ordered a car 30 minutes before. There were four people in the same car that were picked up AFTER, and dropped off BEFORE me, causing me to miss my interview. The hospital then stopped interviewing for the same position I wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 462

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 633

Today, I brought my girlfriend over to her first dinner with my family. My gramps spent the entire dinner telling my girlfriend how the Illuminati are plotting to take over the world and use microchips to control everyone. So much for being taken seriously now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 513

You deserved it 3 319

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 974

You deserved it 5 500

Today, we took an AP exam for Literature. One of the passages was about keeping in feelings in a relationship so that no one is "a burden". My boyfriend read the same passage and felt like he was a burden. I can't convince him otherwise. Thank you college board for endangering my relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 082

You deserved it 1 170

Today, I was texting a guy that one of my friends told me about. She gave me his number and told me about how he was deaf. Three hours into great conversation I forgot and asked him what his favorite music was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 386

You deserved it 11 674