Transportation: Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I...

By rene - 22/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

agreeclassic 33 895

vote type 1 3 371

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 04:57 - United States - Paducah

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

agreeclassic 28 045

vote type 1 4 335

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 17:09 - Philippines - Makati

Today, after a week of looking for my car keys and being forced to drag my family around on public transportation, my wife found the keys in our car's ignition. FML

agreeclassic 8 093

vote type 1 32 295

Partyblocked

By story of my life - 07/03/2022 02:00

Today, it's my birthday. I'd asked my mom weeks ago if she could watch my kids, so my husband and I could go celebrate. She told me an hour before we were supposed to leave I'd have to reschedule, so she could watch my brother's kids while he goes out for fun. Gee, thanks mom. FML

agreeclassic 1 479

vote type 1 108

Drive

By Anonymous - 20/11/2021 16:59 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. Two of my best friends forgot it, and so did my grandparents. All of my friends were busy, so I spent it alone in my car. FML

agreeclassic 1 142

vote type 1 136

Lower your expectations

By Brilliant... - 25/05/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year-olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

agreeclassic 50 605

vote type 1 5 321

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 11:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML

agreeclassic 43 222

vote type 1 5 416

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 11:29 - Netherlands

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

agreeclassic 64 787

vote type 1 3 827

By Thomas - 13/12/2009 06:46 - Canada

Today, I woke up to find my parents singing "Happy birthday" with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML

agreeclassic 31 760

vote type 1 2 719

Dude, where's my car?

By not_so_sweet_sixteen - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. I was hoping to get a car. Instead, my parents got me a three month membership at the gym so I can lose weight. FML

agreeclassic 40 723

vote type 1 56 293

By nick - 24/07/2012 00:52 - United States - Palm Desert

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

agreeclassic 31 514

vote type 1 12 610

TheMadScientist 13

Monday 22 August 2011 23:00

Awesome kids!

takanuva0123 0

Monday 22 August 2011 23:01

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Comments

grtfuldeadlovr 27

Tuesday 23 August 2011 3:19

I did that to my brother once

PandaPandy 6

Tuesday 23 August 2011 3:31

Awww XD cute

Campbec001 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 4:34

The car is still lost though...

Masii 3

Tuesday 23 August 2011 4:37

Your kids know how to surprise ya.

theungvar 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 4:51

apparently tristan took a douchebag class and graduated with honors

thewife5 19

Tuesday 23 August 2011 5:13

It sucks if you asked them if they knew where they were, or if you paid for a replacement key.. But over-all, pretty darn cute.

gumdrops143 6

Tuesday 23 August 2011 5:14

Aww thats so sweet

Cleao18317 11

Tuesday 23 August 2011 5:19

It's the thought of giving them back that counts

ratius 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 5:23

Don't "lose" them again, you will have to wait nearly a year ;)

lolnatalyloves 9

Tuesday 23 August 2011 5:42

That is so cute

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my smartwatch notified me that my heart rate spiked at the same time as my partner was getting me to listen to her favourite band's favorite song, and she took it as I sign that we must like the same music, and that we are so compatible. What she doesn't know is that I was checking my ex’s social media on the side. FML

agreeclassic 79

vote type 1 811

Today, my girlfriend of over a year said, "Being loved by you is the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced. I'm so thankful I now know how it feels to be treated with kindness…" Then the word "but" and her abusive, estranged husband's name were uttered in the same sentence. FML

agreeclassic 788

vote type 1 155

Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML

agreeclassic 447

vote type 1 99

Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML

agreeclassic 48 106

vote type 1 15 179

Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML

agreeclassic 5 015

vote type 1 265

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my friend. It wasn't until I got there that I realized I'd come on the wrong day. Her flight arrived yesterday, so that explains her radio silence for the past two days. I just thought she was in transit, but turns out she's pissed at me and wants me to pay for the Uber ride she had to take home from the airport. FML

agreeclassic 127

vote type 1 606