Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my...

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

agreeclassic 42 717

vote type 1 3 929

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By jackpot - 09/05/2011 01:53 - Venezuela

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

agreeclassic 29 469

vote type 1 3 023

By pauper - 09/02/2012 01:20

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

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By Ally - 19/05/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

agreeclassic 41 135

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By Anonymous - 22/09/2015 05:09 - United States - Boston

Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML

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There goes the neighborhood…

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 11:00

Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML

agreeclassic 1 037

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By Brook363 - 27/05/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

agreeclassic 54 811

vote type 1 3 112

By jl_word - 04/02/2015 21:49 - United States

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

agreeclassic 30 667

vote type 1 3 846

By wellokaythen - 14/05/2013 19:52 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

agreeclassic 46 947

vote type 1 5 123

You OK dude?

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML

agreeclassic 542

vote type 1 72

By minimum wage - 02/04/2012 08:38 - Canada

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

agreeclassic 28 354

vote type 1 2 408

garrettcodd 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:07

the worst part is you can't go shit on his porch...

kingnate16 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:02

did u join him?

Comments

JRokka850 6

Wednesday 25 January 2012 1:36

Lmao

iBiteRoses 22

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:36

How do you shit relentlessly?

Pauline96_fml 20

Thursday 4 December 2014 7:11

Call the cops

xRiverSongx 17

Thursday 6 August 2015 3:34

Relentlessly

Tomato_Cheese 22

Saturday 2 January 2016 7:40

Eat his only sandwich.

narnarking 6

Thursday 4 February 2016 19:44

samez..

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Today, I wanted to go shopping in my new car that I bought just a month ago. When I stepped outside, I saw someone had smashed the driver side's window. They didn't even steal anything. FML

agreeclassic 984

vote type 1 74

Today, my boyfriend told me he's been having doubts, but he still wants to stay with me. I asked him why he had been so nervous about us and he replied, "I don't know, just thinking about a future with you makes me feel nauseous". We've been together over 2 years now. FML

agreeclassic 35 188

vote type 1 4 054

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved into my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML

agreeclassic 41 203

vote type 1 12 481

Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML

agreeclassic 34 989

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Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

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vote type 1 61 242

Today, an old guy got nose to nose with me, threatened me, and spit in my face, just because I politely reminded him he needed to be wearing a mask. He had been coughing on multiple food items in my store. FML

agreeclassic 1 968

vote type 1 174

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There goes the neighborhood…

You OK dude?

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