Love Thanks, Mom

Thanks, Mom

The Towel Molester - 26/01/2012 14:49 - Australia

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Invasion

Anonymous - 31/03/2022 18:00

Today, and ever since we announced our pregnancy, my mother-in-law has invaded our home, taken over my hobby room, and tries to run our lives. I tried to go to the pub for a pint, one solitary pint, and she came and dragged me out by my ear, because "drinking is a sin", and I hadn’t done the dishes yet. FML

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Keep quiet

Anonymous - 26/08/2013 23:12 - United States - Hollywood

Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML

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How very dare you?

Anonymous - 23/08/2019 14:00

Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML

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shocked - 12/10/2009 14:52 - United States

Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML

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mlove - 06/09/2010 08:35 - United States

Today, my future mother-in-law finally admitted that I'm "not the girl for her son" and that she will do anything to break us up. FML

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All over the place

Gloria Lovestar - 03/10/2019 20:00

Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML

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Unstable

Lala - 22/01/2025 04:00 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, after agreeing to hang out with my husband and his alcoholic mother after his father’s suicide, my mother-in-law found out that my sister-in-law and I playfully insult each other. She lost her mind and practically bit my head off, relapsed, and blamed my “disrespecting her daughter” on said relapse. FML

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Tasty!

Sad and hungry - 25/04/2020 17:00

Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML

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ouharguohargssdf - 28/09/2013 21:01 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML

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Felicia doesn't approve

uneek_3225 - 22/10/2009 05:53 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

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mofran 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 18:59

the **** is wrong with your mom....

slick5880 22

Thursday 26 January 2012 19:04

How does one go about "molesting towels?"

pabloA 2

Friday 27 January 2012 21:31

Why the **** do y'all say OP it doesn't make sense in the ******* sentence ur making

mintstashinurtea 5

Saturday 28 January 2012 4:07

well I'm sure they'd rather you have sex with a towel than their daughter so at least you have that working for you...

brina53 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 14:38

kudos to ur moms vivid & colorful details while drunk!lol

kxrider580 0

Monday 30 January 2012 0:14

At that point you are legally allowed to hit your mom.

Hinatagem 1

Wednesday 1 February 2012 23:28

Give you their daughter? What is she, a purse?

anongrl5846 19

Tuesday 10 April 2012 22:01

Lol

secretsmiles00 8

Sunday 27 May 2012 5:33

Give you their daughter? Like she is something that can be given away. I hate that line other than that fyl you should keep your mom away from alcohol you towel molester!