Love Surprise, MFer!

Surprise, MFer!

Anonymous - 15/09/2010 23:34 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Pleased to meet you

Homeless without superbowl - 16/02/2023 16:00

Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML

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thenewgirl - 06/10/2014 23:05 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML

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Nice of you

Anonymous - 30/07/2010 04:26 - United States

Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML

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Reeen - 03/06/2016 22:29 - United States - Pittsboro

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML

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Anonymous - 16/10/2011 04:22 - United States

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

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Wrong place, wrong time

lug_nut - 06/01/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML

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Anonymous - 07/04/2018 15:00

Today, my girlfriend did the whole "break up with your boyfriend and kick him out of the house" thing from the movies. Except it's my house. She kept my stuff. FML

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killmenow - 19/02/2009 21:52 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

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Timeshare

Anonymous - 17/11/2022 02:00

Today, my ex, who I still live with, invited he’s best friend (a drama starter) and his new love interest over for dinner while I was at work. Now I’m outside, waiting for them both to leave. FML

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TCRII - 19/01/2019 16:00

Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML

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schwancy 2

Thursday 16 September 2010 9:26

How sweet of her to fancy up your house for your parent's visit.

manforgot 1

Thursday 16 September 2010 9:20

Ew, the herpes of craft supplies. Good luck cleaning that up.

cnashrun 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 15:22

what a bitch

glitterypink 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 15:42

#75 - You have awesome hair

SaintE_fml 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 15:53

this is the perfect time for u to come out sparkles

fishycanswim 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 16:02

My Life As Liz quote number 2? If so, you are pretty freaking awesome.

heyjenn 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 16:26

Some comedian said it first.

babeeee13 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 16:03

haha,oh my citrus. 57 you're cute

wDeemish 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 16:09

eeh good luck on cleaning that, and your ex is a biitch

lucidlucia 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 16:10

At least your family will get a chance to see what a winner she was.

dudette2 9

Thursday 16 September 2010 16:36

I'm not going to say FYL because I don't know why you broke up, for all I know you cheated on her or broke her heart. I do however think it's brilliant way to get revenge. It's one to keep in mind :)