Sex, Wanker Intimacy She's electric - FML

She's electric

nnniii - 16/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

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Nasty

Anonymous - 30/08/2011 11:24 - Australia

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

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Frustrated wank

Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

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ilovesocks - 20/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

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pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

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The moment when…

wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

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kinkicali - 20/11/2012 08:43 - United States - Maple Valley

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

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Love is love

SpiderMan - 12/03/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

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anonymous - 02/11/2015 03:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML

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sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

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TweetAnne 13

Monday 16 November 2015 16:48

What an electrifying moment.

pd2902 22

Monday 16 November 2015 16:50

Talk about there being sparks in a relationship

Xion0014 20

Tuesday 17 November 2015 14:09

Ah pikachu finally made a move on ash xD

dreadseeker313 6

Tuesday 17 November 2015 15:19

Cockshocked

kalbrek009 20

Tuesday 17 November 2015 18:39

Does he post here too? Sounds like an FML for both of you.

tiredofwaiting 25

Tuesday 17 November 2015 19:05

I bet you guys had a laugh after.

donaldduckdumb 4

Wednesday 18 November 2015 0:58

That's hot.

obeykaitlyn 25

Wednesday 18 November 2015 1:10

I'm sorry but although this sounds like it was very painful for him, I can't help but laugh at this

JHamm2121 15

Wednesday 18 November 2015 4:15

Women, quit wearing fuzzy socks! They're not cute you just look like a immature 8year old. I don't see how this is a FML. YDI for wearing fuzzy socks bitch!

pranil 14

Thursday 19 November 2015 21:30

wow electrifying!!!

jmalcolm99 5

Friday 20 November 2015 20:16

kinky much?

leorachelc3 15

Monday 23 November 2015 10:16

that moment must've been electrifying

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

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Today, my boss fired me because someone hacked our website and replaced pictures of our products with furry porn (don’t Google it, it’s weird as fuck). We don’t have an IT department, but since I spend the most time on the computer controlling stock and purchases, he blamed me instead. FML

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Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. Out of natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

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Today, my boyfriend told me that he’s no longer interested in sex with me, as he just can't be bothered. FML

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Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML

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Today, I went without my phone all day, because my roommate moved it. Because I'd left it in the fridge. On top of a bucket of KFC. Which he ate. FML

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