Sex Intimacy Sexy talk

Sexy talk

Anonymous - 09/01/2010 03:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

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Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

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Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

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Dirty talk

Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

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Not now

anonymous - 02/02/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

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Kinky

sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

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isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

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PTKFML - 26/07/2009 04:37 - United States

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

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elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

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Undefined - 01/01/2009 12:09 - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML

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Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

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imcooool 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 9:29

haha I'm sorry but that made me lmaooooo! haa

CH723 0

Monday 6 February 2012 6:33

he was trying to be funny and lighten the mood. how in ***** name does that deserve wrath ?

xiShawnx 0

Tuesday 29 June 2010 20:07

Win! Ftw much ahah

benladinsuxxs 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 18:13

maybe he's trying to say your vag looks like an arbys roast beef sandwich!!!! LMAO

renewed 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 23:45

LOL!!! you're boyfriend is my hero! FAV!

tnb15 1

Monday 29 November 2010 7:12

my ex did that to me

XOcascatXO 0

Sunday 5 December 2010 15:39

that's funny:D

kathrynclw 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 3:44

hahaha, don't ask, don't tell :D

deladouceur 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 2:53

maybe he was tired of your roast beef ******... so he wanted some roast beef that would actually satisfy him

Amaxwell 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 17:02

c'mon don't be such a stiff bitch that's funny stuff.

slynoble32 11

Saturday 23 April 2011 0:59

lmfao hahahahaha hes awsome ppl

zamyr 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 3:35

ha i always get hungry after sex lmao :)?

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Living that awkward life.

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Today, my dad let me fire one of his guns. This was a big deal because he rarely lets anyone so much as touch them. I was so excited, I forgot about about the recoil. Now I'm in the ER with a broken nose. FML

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