Sex Intimacy I'm coming! - FML

I'm coming!

anonymous - 24/02/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Power moves

Travis - 10/09/2021 22:59

Today, my wife told me that I take her breath away. However, she was talking about my large stomach hitting her while we have sex and knocking the wind out of her with every thrust. FML

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cj123 - 23/12/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

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katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

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lovely - 19/12/2011 06:43 - Netherlands

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

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shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

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Romantic afterglow

easyontheeyes1 - 01/05/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML

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Anonymous - 14/04/2014 20:12 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

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nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

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Nice outing

Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

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laury - 09/05/2012 02:05 - Canada - Port Elgin

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

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babybubz 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 13:16

sooooo.. because fish breathe under water.. I'm gonna assume when you 'finish' you flap around all over the place? yeah you might wanna work on that..

wtgjeremy 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 12:22

tell her she smells like one

Meru 0

Monday 8 March 2010 19:15

I laughed. Hard.

jayjay777 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 9:20

ROFLMFAO!!! you are so owned!!!

dez63 9

Tuesday 19 July 2011 14:13

we all have weird vinegar faces

LullzKitteh 1

Sunday 6 November 2011 23:00

"finish"? if ur old enough to have sex, ur too old to hide behind childish euphemisms

The_Appendix_ 13

Friday 3 October 2014 13:38

kick her in the ******

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was scrolling through my phone and saw a post from my nephew's mother, my brother's girlfriend. She has a swollen eye that my brother gave her. I've been telling him for months to get his temper in control, and now he's facing possible charges, and she's utterly traumatized. I wish I could cut off relations. FML

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Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

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Today, my boyfriend was helping me with my medications. While I called the pharmacy, I looked over and saw him making the pill bottles fight each other, with sound effects and funny voices. He's 33. FML

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Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML

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Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML

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Today, I visited my dad's grave to give it a clean, since moss and shit were starting to grow on the gravestone. Apparently this counts as vandalism, according to the groundskeeper, because soap and water can damage the stone and make it crumble faster. Yes, the city cops sent me a fine. FML

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