I don't wanna

By Anonymous - 11/10/2020 15:02 - Estonia

Today my mother, who was once shocked to realise that my older sister was having unmarried sex, told me to go and 'get some' because it's good for my health. I'm asexual. FML

agreeclassic 1 220

vote type 1 393

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Never ever

By notgettinsome - 10/11/2013 06:15 - Australia

Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML

agreeclassic 50 309

vote type 1 5 237

By sexandanxiety - 30/04/2015 00:46 - Canada - Stittsville

Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML

agreeclassic 34 681

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ICYMI

By senelbeat - 03/07/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

agreeclassic 41 378

vote type 1 8 615

Thanks Mom

By Enko - 09/11/2008 07:43 - France

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on, she started telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stopped and said, "Actually, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you don’t have a boyfriend!" FML

agreeclassic 56 627

vote type 1 5 255

By buxton1 - 18/02/2013 08:24 - United States - Ramona

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

agreeclassic 35 659

vote type 1 3 381

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

agreeclassic 1 067

vote type 1 115

Freuding intensifies

By toomanypills - 26/03/2022 17:00 - United States - Easton

Today, I'm in 12th grade and came home from school to find out my mother had someone over to have sex while I was at school. She's not had sex my whole life, so the uncomfortable feeling it gave me is different than anything I've felt before. She's been single by the way. FML

agreeclassic 304

vote type 1 1 558

Excuses

By sucks - 12/03/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML

agreeclassic 295 680

vote type 1 54 196

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 16 835

vote type 1 37 560

By Anonymous - 27/11/2009 21:45 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

agreeclassic 25 217

vote type 1 3 657

TCRII 29

Sunday 11 October 2020 14:07

You do you.

Jonkbaby 22

Sunday 11 October 2020 14:32

Tell her to talk to the hand

Comments

TCRII 29

Sunday 11 October 2020 14:07

You do you.

Jonkbaby 22

Sunday 11 October 2020 14:32

Tell her to talk to the hand

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 11 October 2020 17:13

Which one? The one she uses to "get some" or the other one?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 11 October 2020 17:10

She is right. Vegetables are good for you, too, but lots of people don't get enough to improve their health. Same thing.

Anna Whiteway 7

Thursday 29 April 2021 12:01

Sex = Vegetables Yep 🤦🏻‍♀️

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Today, I spent the night at a friend's house after drinking. My phone died and I didn’t charge it. My mom decided I was a missing person, and all of her friends on Facebook decided to post that I was missing. I’m a 27 year-old adult. FML

agreeclassic 1 046

vote type 1 131

Today, a pharmacist slut-shamed me for taking birth control. I'm still a virgin, and I only take those pills to help with my acne and period cramps. FML

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Today, I showed up to work with a hickey on my neck and found out my boss is very Christian. He wasted my entire lunch break ranting to me about how the Bible says I shouldn't be having sex before marriage. FML

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vote type 1 365

Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML

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Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML

agreeclassic 25 987

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Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

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