Love, Sunburn, Cute Health Here comes the sunbed

Here comes the sunbed

Aiaiii - - Germany

Today, I spent some time in a sunbed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Stuck

canessadawn - - United States - Portland

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

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Limited edition prank

Anonymous - - United States - Hopkinsville

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

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Gym bro

kaplwv116 - - United States

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

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desertboi69 - 16/03/2019 16:00 - United States - Ridgecrest

Today, I was preparing my raw meat with tire grease. Literally. My girlfriend replaced my teriyaki sauce with tire grease, because, she later told me, she had sex with my best friend. FML

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Killing the mood

hotmess - - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML

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Sketchy

Wolf - - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML

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Camouflage

allbrokeup - - Norway - Stavanger

Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML

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Mummy's bravest little boy

Anonymous - - Australia - Hobart

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by getting his mum to message me on Facebook. I got the message while I was packing for an overseas trip to visit him. FML

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Classic fraud

Anonymous - 28/04/2023 15:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML

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Broke boy

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

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lettertjes 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 16:16

Yeah. If you lie too long in a sun-bed, you can get sunburn. If you didn't know that, you're probably not old enough to show your butt to your boyfriend.

margxoxo 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 16:14

should have got out earlier.. you shouldn't risk cancer though. fyl.

teresa_009 0

Friday 4 June 2010 2:17

why has this turned from someone calling someone young to people calling each other ugly? hahaa anyway lol at 28. op, you deserve it, stick to fake tan next time. better still, stay all natural. fakeness makes some people seem 'high maintenance'. also, tanning gives you CANCER. I personally wouldn't want to have that.

Day_Dreams 0

Friday 4 June 2010 3:26

I agree 87 "Tan in a Can" is much safer then going out in the sun or indoor tanning. is it wrong that all I could think of during this was the song "Hot crossed Buns"