Food, Addiction Health Gotta have it - FML

Gotta have it

kp. - - Australia

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Funyearahead - 08/08/2016 12:44 - United States - Red Bank

Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML

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YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

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dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

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Another resolution bites the dust

Anonymous - 30/09/2024 00:00 - Germany - Seevetal

Today, I was extremely tired, so when I decided I wanted a snack, I went to the corner of the kitchen where the chocolate is, opened the garbage bin, and reached inside. FML

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mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

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ChocoMilkManG - 03/07/2009 01:37 - United States

Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML

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Sneaky

Anonymous - 07/10/2019 14:00

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

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foreveralone - 13/01/2014 01:00 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

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Chip on your shoulder

Anonymous - 28/08/2021 13:59 - United States

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. and ate some chips that were on my nightstand, totally unaware that they were covered in ants. Now I have two swollen lips and my kid’s birthday party is tomorrow. FML

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Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

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Freeze_fml 16

Monday 17 October 2011 8:25

That's disgusting and you should feel disgusting.

captainfalcon7 0

Monday 17 October 2011 8:27

I'm sorry this is just sad

Okayitwasme 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 3:51

Fail

Bently24 6

Tuesday 18 October 2011 4:00

So spending less than a dollar on another one wasn't a choice. I guess the ants gave it a nice crunch. That's gross man

Jaws1240 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 4:23

Was it Hersheys chocolate? Cause i would too! Shit I never waste a good candy bar!

whippymcdumb4zs 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 4:35

I had that happen with my drugs; but I just wiped them off and smoked them anyways. God I'm so addicted. FML

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 18 October 2011 4:39

seriously, was it that damn great?

Snowbat4u 10

Tuesday 18 October 2011 4:46

It is called: High Protein Chocolate!

anjtrg_1112 23

Tuesday 18 October 2011 4:56

That's why they make candy bugs, OP, and I'm sure they have some in chocolate (:

poprox4life 3

Tuesday 18 October 2011 5:01

It's your own fault...

megan_lovee 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 5:05

yu have serious problems thts gross nd honestly if yu did tht whhy tell people tht?? lmao well whatever I hope yu atleastt brushed yur teeth after:

MerrikBarbarian 9

Tuesday 18 October 2011 5:11

yummy, extra flavor! well if you ignore the fact that extra zing it actually ant pee. survival 101, when stuck in the woods craving salt and vinegar chips, let ants crawl over some grass then lick it. sounds gross but urine is technically sterile. :p

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, trying to make a good impression and be helpful, I volunteered to look after my manager's cat while she moves house. The cat hasn't stopped meowing since he got here this evening, it's now 4 am and I have work in the morning. FML

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Today, after months of nasty fights, I decided to turn over a new leaf in my relationship. I apologized for my past actions and spent the week trying to make sure her needs were met and that she felt special. Rather than trying to reconnect, she decided I'm "love bombing" her and now won't even look at me. FML

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Today, I've been living in Germany for several weeks now. My classmates still cannot pronounce my name: Clémence. Instead they call me, “Baguette.” FML

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Today, I have quite a niche career forging swords, knives, and other weapons for museums. Well today my wife wanted to watch the anime Demon Slayer, we got to the scenes with the insane masked swordsmith, and she burst out laughing like, “Oh my god, you’re twins, grumpy twins!” FML

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Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML

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Today, I got a bad performance rating at my new job. I was very depressed, and a colleague tried to console me. He said, "You're doing a good job for a level 59." which is a junior developer. I'm a level 63, a senior developer and a level above him. I don't know what hurt me more. FML

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