Pregnancy Kids Good news

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poormom - - United States

Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML

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Anonymous - 16/09/2014 17:44 - Netherlands - Haarlem

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

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Anonymous - 28/10/2012 16:44 - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

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The next generation

Rosemary’s Vlogger - 07/01/2022 20:01

Today, my son announced he wants to be a YouTuber, and wants to make videos of himself doing violent things to pregnant women. He’s 9. FML

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People don't always get sarcasm

Martin - 15/03/2021 17:00

Today, my son asked if there was a way to make parenting easier. I sarcastically told him he could be a deadbeat who sees his kid every two weeks. He must have thought I was serious because he broke up with his girlfriend and baby, turned up at my door expecting to have his old room, and told my wife it was my idea. FML

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Do not pass Go

Anonymous - 16/08/2023 08:00

Today, I've hated being a parent ever since I was baby-trapped at 17, but I stuck through it and never let my son suspect how I really felt, and we have a great relationship now he’s an adult. Well he just moved out yesterday, and today my wife told me she’s pregnant. Here we fucking go again. FML

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Anonymous - 29/03/2015 15:17 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

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Baby eater - 20/05/2014 00:00 - United States - Clarksville

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

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Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out

Mom - 17/07/2023 15:00

Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML

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No! Noooo!

Anonymous - 18/12/2015 01:59 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML

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Threat

fuck you, kid - 16/07/2014 18:56 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

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cardboardtastes 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 12:22

How do you speak to your kids?!

Shock98 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 12:24

apparently he doesn't want you to have another kid.

omggtfomi 1

Tuesday 11 October 2011 0:11

Oh my I'm sorry

dpgft10 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 21:03

I'm sorry but your son is....A BOSS

bieberfreak18 0

Wednesday 23 November 2011 3:36

wow, if I wouldve said that at 9 years old Id be grounded for life! But congrats to your brave little swearing machine ;)

RadioOctopus 16

Friday 25 November 2011 18:24

my parents never swore infront of us once we couldnt watch anything and stillcant that swears and cant hang out with anyone that swears. im seventeen years old and the rules still apply. did that stop me my brother and my sister from learning to? no. its not always the parents fault

Broc831 6

Wednesday 28 March 2012 9:13

damn, you raising a thug or something?

BATGIRL13 0

Thursday 5 April 2012 5:35

You need to spank his ass

Ninjasaurus18 9

Saturday 21 April 2012 21:05

When I was 5 I knew worse words, so don't be upset. And how many kids do you have? Maybe he said that because you have a lot of kids and is feeling left out because you can't put a ******* condom on?