FML: The Showdown #2 By Louis - 29/03/2017 21:05 Who will be your champion this week? I agree, your life sucks 440 You deserved it 130 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML I agree, your life sucks 14 351 You deserved it 35 665
Today, my mum found out I had a girl in my room and faked a heart attack. I know it was fake because she did the same when I came out as lesbian, when I invited a girl to prom, when I asked dad for advice on sex. I get it mum, you’re a homophobe, so stop faking heart attacks, it’s bad for the NHS. FML I agree, your life sucks 565 You deserved it 142
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML I agree, your life sucks 700 You deserved it 1 274
Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 585 You deserved it 3 506
Today, I got dumped after about a four year relationship. Feeling lonely and depressed, I posted on Facebook, "is hurt, someone please text or call me." Then one of my cousins commented, "No one text him." His comment got 17 "likes." No one got in contact with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 458 You deserved it 9 753
Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML I agree, your life sucks 54 369 You deserved it 2 976
sausage
Tyson