FML's guide to a stress-free St Patrick's Day By Louis - 17/03/2017 18:15 - France - Paris Savour the flavor of the day, but be careful out there! I agree, your life sucks 724 You deserved it 196 Share Tweet Share
Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother why his relationship with a just-turned 18 year-old would be inappropriate. According to him, they’ve been “dating” for two years now but “haven’t had sex or anything.” He’s 39. He got mad at me for calling him a pedophile and smashed my glass table. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 597 You deserved it 266
Today, I was taking a shower. Having epilepsy, I seized, tripped over the edge of the tub, and smashed my face against an open toilet, breaking my nose. FML I agree, your life sucks 623 You deserved it 83
Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML I agree, your life sucks 47 600 You deserved it 4 742
Today, I hit a stray Chihuahua with my car, a little Taco Bell tan dog, ironically whilst taking my own chihuahua dog to a vet appointment, in full view of two kids no less. A roughly 10-12 year-old girl and her 8ish year-old brother, who were taking out their trash to the dumpster in the alley, saw the whole thing. I later cried. FML I agree, your life sucks 420 You deserved it 112
Today, my little sister put on some black eyeliner on my eyes. About half an hour later, my eyes started to hurt. Eyeliner never hurt for me; so I went to the bathroom to check it out. My sister wasn't using eyeliner. It was a black watercolor pencil. Now I have black bits inside my eyes. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 319 You deserved it 6 351
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. They found her on the roof, threatening to kill herself. I had to pretend to sound scared and sad over the phone, but in reality, the only emotion I could feel was extreme joy. FML I agree, your life sucks 264 You deserved it 1 842