Customers, Public freakouts, Cops Work Catering to idiots

Catering to idiots

Anonymous - 27/03/2013 00:10 - United States - Pittsfield

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Long time coming

I'm the boss, not you - 26/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

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You got lawyered

fckmylife - 20/12/2016 19:47

Today, I found out that I'm being sued for posting on Facebook about a customer service experience with a local company. Even though we have witnesses, the owners of the store claim that we're lying about the whole thing and that we're "malicious". FML

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fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo - 28/07/2013 16:23 - United States

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

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Get off my lawn!

control your mutt! - 23/02/2022 22:00

Today, tired of people letting their dogs crap in my yard, I sprinkled an assortment of crushed peppers around my lawn as a deterrent. One dog went to do its business and had some sort of allergic reaction. Now its bitchy owner is threatening to sue me, and tried to have her daughter kick my ass. FML

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Alice - 27/05/2011 05:46 - Australia

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

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Punk rock

Shitfaced - 22/11/2022 12:00

Today, some punk tried the "flaming bag of dog poop" trick on me. I caught him in the act and smashed the unlit bag across his face. Now he's "traumatized" and wants to press charges. FML

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KereKris - 01/12/2016 19:18

Today, I wrote a bad review for a pizza place after their pizza gave me food poisoning. Now, they won't stop calling me, begging me to take my review down in exchange for free pizza. I have tried to tell them that I wouldn't eat their pizza again even if I got paid to do so, but they won't listen. FML

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Anonymous - 05/06/2015 01:07 - United States - Elkhart

Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML

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Anonymous - 07/12/2010 03:42 - United States

Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML

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A Henderson - 25/04/2012 20:50 - United States

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

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KingDead 18

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:06

Common sense; not so common

that1guyyy 12

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:06

You should really clean up your act.

sneeze_watch 19

Wednesday 27 March 2013 14:41

Soap isn't food. How exactly is it "food poisoning" if what he ate isn't food? Also who the **** doesn't know that eating soap will give you the *****?

blankjack 6

Wednesday 27 March 2013 14:41

Welcome to the USA :)

Mandie56 4

Wednesday 27 March 2013 15:29

Soap...."Not Edible" Ummmm no kidding. I mean, when was the last time that YOU ate soap. That ANY of us ate soap. I mean, once when I was little I tried to brush my TEETH with soap, but I didn't try to EAT it.... Really...REALLY???? People are so dumb....

MissB_1990 4

Wednesday 27 March 2013 15:34

Good old 'natural selection'... But seriously. Who the **** doesn't know NOT to eat soap?! Seriously!

LegendofZelda88 8

Wednesday 27 March 2013 15:59

this is the world today...

csdelab 5

Wednesday 27 March 2013 16:25

This is why all the stupid laws

csi_fml 19

Wednesday 27 March 2013 16:25

That guy is smoking that dope

Omniprism 14

Wednesday 27 March 2013 16:26

Wow. Sometimes I am so amazed at the idiocy of the world that I barely have words to express it.

The_F3rris 11

Wednesday 27 March 2013 16:32

You're not supposed to eat soap? Who knew?

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 27 March 2013 17:17

I have a friend who makes soap. Some of them smell good enough to eat (pumpkin pie spice scent and the apple one). But you have to be a retard to eat them. He was prob lying and trying to extort money out of you.