Mental health, Medication Miscellaneous Are you OK?

Are you OK?

Squid - 07/11/2012 05:11 - Australia - Hornsby

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

It's for science!

Ana - 19/10/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I finally got round to cleaning out my refrigerator. As I reached the back, I found an unidentifiable, moldy object lurking in the corner. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was once a cucumber. I'm growing science experiments in my fridge. FML

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I told you so

Anonymous - 23/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my parents brought home lunch from a shady grocery store deli. They mused about how hard I am to feed because I turned it down; the last time I ate anything from there, it gave me botulism, and it tastes horrible anyway. They both got sick. Now I'm playing nurse to both. No apologies yet. FML

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5-star meal

storyofmylife - 15/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

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The miracle of barf

EvictingItSoon - 08/03/2020 23:07

Today, what I thought was food poisoning is actually a baby. FML

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Night terrors

Si123 - 15/08/2020 08:01

Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML

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slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

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Abandoned

Anonymous - 04/04/2020 05:00

Today, I found a baby in a cradle on my doorstep. I was shocked that someone would do this, so I picked it up and uncovered the baby. It was actually a rudimentary stink bomb that went off in my face when I uncovered it. FML

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What's that noise?

Yogi - 09/12/2024 12:00 - Switzerland - Basel

Today, I was relaxing in my dark, silent living room when I started hearing creepy, repeated sounds. It took me a while to realize those were the chickpeas I had left to swell up overnight in a glass container on the kitchen counter. FML

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Where did you come from?

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

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Twomanybananas - 23/01/2017 16:00

Today, I found a banana on my bed. It was black and shriveled because I accidentally left it there after I thought I finished the whole bushel I bought last week. I've been sleeping in my bed all week and didn't notice. FML

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SakataGintoki 9

Wednesday 7 November 2012 12:00

Dafuq did I just read?

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 7 November 2012 12:03

It WAS the alien baby from Men In Black, just in its vegetative state.

sweetmama88 6

Wednesday 7 November 2012 15:20

What meds are you taking?

pennies_lane 6

Wednesday 7 November 2012 15:25

This is definitely one of the most original fml's I've read. That's beautiful that you would nurse and look after something for so long... even if it was just some celery.

Azrael9 11

Wednesday 7 November 2012 15:36

sounds like you could use some new meds OP

neuroticallyyour_fml 17

Wednesday 7 November 2012 15:36

Having Schizophrenia does NOT mean you have multiple personalities. That's Dissociative Identity Disorder. They are two seperate disorders. Please educate yourself about psychological disorders before you make a comment.

wtvr 2

Wednesday 7 November 2012 15:36

I wish i had some of those meds

DataWog 30

Thursday 8 November 2012 3:29

It was her ILLNESS that caused her to see the celery as something else. Her meds STOPPED her from seeing it as something else. You didn't pay much attention during Reading Comprehension, did you? On the other hand, you might just need them. Carry on.