Health and Accident: Alexa, play "Jump" by Van Halen

Alexa, play "Jump" by Van Halen

By Thescarlettfox - 01/03/2020 21:00

Today, I had the brilliant idea of jumping off a swing at its highest point. I can now add two things to my list of accomplishments: making out with a tree and breaking my nose. FML

agreeclassic 566

vote type 1 1 455

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By no more flips - 17/05/2015 14:05 - United States - Columbus

Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML

agreeclassic 26 787

vote type 1 7 060

Sia is drunk again

By Not Sia - 21/12/2025 09:00

Today, during a wild party, I climbed up to the second floor, over a railing, and leapt for the chandelier, screaming, "I'M GONNA SWING FROM THE CHANDELIER!" I swung for a second, everyone was cheering, and then the chandelier gave way. Now I'm in hospital with millions of stitches. FML

agreeclassic 43

vote type 1 928

Karma

By Loser - 08/06/2018 01:30

Today, at school, I offered my friend $5 to climb up a tree and jump off. I was already having a hard day and just wanted a bit of a laugh. What I didn't expect was to end up in the hospital with a broken arm because my friend jumped on me. FML

agreeclassic 1 606

vote type 1 4 423

Worst party ever

By Dumbass - 10/01/2019 12:00

Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML

agreeclassic 893

vote type 1 4 074

Sorry moley

By Ubehage - 15/03/2023 16:00 - Denmark

Today, I managed to fell a tree perfectly. It landed exactly where it should. Today is also the day I managed to Whack-a-Mole in real life. FML

agreeclassic 695

vote type 1 140

By xxxdwangelaxxx - 18/04/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML

agreeclassic 44 144

vote type 1 34 664

By lovehurts - 14/10/2013 16:02 - United States - Wayne

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

agreeclassic 53 799

vote type 1 6 146

By Stephanie - 14/07/2011 19:17 - United States

Today, my friends and I went to the park for some planking. Trying to find a daring spot, I climbed a tree and laid down on a branch. While I was waiting for my friends to take a picture, the branch gave out. FML

agreeclassic 10 541

vote type 1 60 240

By Eponine13 - 05/06/2019 22:00

Today, I thought it would be fun to climb a tree. My older sister also thought it would be fun to set the tree on fire. FML

agreeclassic 1 965

vote type 1 188

By Malpal - 23/01/2009 11:03 - United States

Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML

agreeclassic 10 550

vote type 1 29 649

Cocoapelli 23

Sunday 1 March 2020 21:27

I would say ydi, but who am I to kink shame.

jkjorn 16

Monday 2 March 2020 15:22

And now I have the "George of the Jungle" theme stuck in my head.

Comments

Cocoapelli 23

Sunday 1 March 2020 21:27

I would say ydi, but who am I to kink shame.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 1 March 2020 22:03

I hope it wasn't an ugly tree.

jkjorn 16

Monday 2 March 2020 15:22

And now I have the "George of the Jungle" theme stuck in my head.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML

agreeclassic 274

vote type 1 1 354

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

agreeclassic 39 107

vote type 1 11 158

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disney World. Monday, I take a class trip to Disney World. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

agreeclassic 22 746

vote type 1 5 295

Today, I received a coupon for a special offer including flights and accommodation for the honeymoon destination that my fiancé and I are keen on. Yesterday, I paid the full price for the flight tickets and hotel deposit for the honeymoon. FML

agreeclassic 26 530

vote type 1 2 655

Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML

agreeclassic 153

vote type 1 3 468

Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea. She called me a jealous bastard who can't get laid. FML

agreeclassic 1 482

vote type 1 244