Love

Stuck in a rut

Mary - 23/08/2023 08:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I realized I don't have a family, I only have garbage people who have been sucking my time, my money, and my life from me. FML

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No means no

Anonymous - 22/08/2023 10:00

Today, it seems my mom didn’t believe me when I told her multiple times I was not going to my nasty bitch sister's wedding. Then she acted surprised and outraged when, shocker, I didn’t go, and has been leaving me texts and voicemails for over an hour. FML

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Time to leave

Anonymous - 22/08/2023 08:00

Today, my ex called me, apologetic about her mistakes, and saying she realised she wants to be with me. I eventually agreed to coffee, just to see if the old spark was still there. I ended up leaving after 0.0000005 seconds. She was 6 months pregnant with some other dude's baby. I wasted my afternoon for this shit. FML

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So far…

sutz22 - 22/08/2023 00:02 - Italy

Today, marks the day I break up with my boyfriend after being cheated on for years, and getting a few STIs from him. It's also the year my mum died, and so did my dog, just 20 days apart. 2023 has not been my year. FML

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Technically

nice one -

Today, I finally confronted my boyfriend and asked him if he was cheating on me. He got flustered and said, "Technically, I'm cheating with you, not on you." FML

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Mining for gold

can’t do it - 21/08/2023 01:00 - United States

Today, I caught my fiancé picking his nose and eating it. I don’t want to break up over this but I just cannot for the life of me get that image out of my head. Every time he tries to kiss me, I visibly gag and turn my head away. He says I’m being unreasonable. FML

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My type of dude

Anonymous - 20/08/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, I realized I have a type: a man who is highly intelligent to begin with, but then either decides to apply his IQ exclusively to theoretical thinking and not real life, or who purposely dulls his wits to the point where you can hardly even have a conversation any more. FML

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Next step: Love

Anonymous - 20/08/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I was helping my boyfriend of 8 years set up his Google Mini after he complained a thousand times that it wasn't working. As I successfully set up, I got to the part where one can set up speed dial contacts and we looked for my contact on his phone. I saw my name was saved as 'Lust'. FML

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Well done!

Anonymous - - United States - Newark

Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising, and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to third base with his girlfriend. FML

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A step too far

Anonymous - 20/08/2023 10:00

Today, my mother keeps nagging me to find a wife, settle down, and have kids, even though I have zero interest in any of those things. She refuses to understand that I’m perfectly content being completely on my own. She even signed me up to Tinder without my knowledge. FML

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Living his best life

Anonymous - 20/08/2023 06:00

Today, my husband, who I love more than anything, announced that he was gay, couldn't live a lie anymore, and moved out of the house. I'm utterly devastated, and when I tried to cry to my friends, they said I should celebrate his courage and stop being selfish, then ran off to party with him. FML

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Masculinity in peril

Anonymous - 19/08/2023 00:02 - Germany

Today, and for the past year, my boyfriend keeps wanting to arm-wrestle with me. I’m rather petite and I don’t exercise a lot, yet I’m still waiting for him to win, just even once. FML

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Dude, chill out

U... - 18/08/2023 22:00

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

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WTF is that?

fock - - Canada - Almonte

Today, I had to convince my 28-year-old boyfriend to take down his booger wall. FML

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Take care

Everything Counts - 17/08/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, and recently, I've been accused of being jealous whenever I point out that someone is taking advantage of my wife's kindness. I just want her to get the love and friendship she deserves, not these flighty balls of stress that then destabilize her moods. Self-care is sometimes being open to saying, "NO!" FML

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Stolen valor

lifesucksbigtimefuys - - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend." The worst part? I said yes. FML

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Risky move

Username - - United States

Today, my fiancé, the love of my life, informed me that he proposed because he was sure I'd say no. He was hoping it would lead to our breakup. FML

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Hiding something?

Carolina - 16/08/2023 14:00

Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum about how “men are allowed to have female friends”, smashed stuff in the living room, for him to storm out and slam the door, making the house tremble. All I did was tell him that his friendship with his secretary made me uncomfortable. FML

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The betrayal

jojolovesyou134 - 16/08/2023 18:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my best friend of 18 years decided to end our friendship in order to continue sleeping with her brother-in-law, who is also my ex. FML

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How very dare you?

Anonymous - 16/08/2023 04:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he "couldn't handle the distance." He said he "couldn't commit to driving to see me long term." We live two hours apart, and I've driven to him every time; he never tried to come to me once. FML

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You deserve each other

best friend! - - Canada

Today, my best friend informed me that she has been sleeping with my boyfriend. She tried to justify it by saying, "He's just going to break up with you anyway." FML

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Mommy knows best?

Mamasboyhater - - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me because his mom told him to. FML

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Coercive freak

Anonymous - 14/08/2023 18:02 - United States - Towaco

Today, my girlfriend hates my friends and I'm not allowed to talk or hang out with them. She keeps threatening my job. The only reason I'm still with her is because she will try and get me fired. She's crazy and so is the rest of her family. FML

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Do you guys even talk to one another?

Anonymous - 14/08/2023 18:00

Today, my wife pretended she was going to suck my knob, but then bit it so hard she drew blood. Apparently, she saw the texts from my “girlfriend”. The texts were actually from our elderly neighbour, who asked me to feed her cat while she visited her daughter. She thought “feed my cat” meant "illicit sex." FML

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What's so funny?

Puleksy - 14/08/2023 14:00 - Poland - Brzeg

Today, I said to my significant other, "I think I'm a pretty good catch." She started laughing so heavily that tears came out of her eyes. FML

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Mixed signals

Anonymous - 14/08/2023 03:00 - Morocco

Today, a friend and I tell each other everything about our relationships, and we’ve been flirting for two years, but we’re not together. I started to have feelings for him, but I didn’t say anything, then the guy started to disappear and I don't know if he has an avoidant attachment, or he's just ignoring me. FML

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Needs improvment

AUsefulMess - 13/08/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. It isn’t acrimonious, no-one cheated, but his life will apparently “improve immeasurably” now, while mine will basically crash. I’ve spent the past 5 years working on improving as a person for him, and I thought I’d succeeded. FML

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Insecure dudes everywhere

sadcation - 13/08/2023 16:00

Today, my boyfriend gave me an ultimatum: either cancel my amazing work trip or stay with him. I chose the trip and he assured me he’d be gone by the time I got back. His issue? My boss thought it’d be cheaper to get an AirBnB instead of getting us all hotel rooms, and that men are also going. FML

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Women be shopping, amirite?

Anonymous - 13/08/2023 06:00

Today, after I used to laugh at videos of dudes being evicted because their missus spent the mortgage on shoes and handbags, I got home and my missus had some brand new shoes and handbags. You can guess the rest. I swear I’m divorcing her for this. FML

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Reverse Uno prank

Anonymous - 13/08/2023 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my best friend, who I hadn’t seen since last year, picked me up and we got to talking about our memories together. I brought up the time we both cheated on our girlfriends at a Red Hot Chilli Peppers concert. Little did I know his girlfriend was waiting in the back of the car to scare me. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, one of the girls who has made it her job to ruin my life cornered me in the hallway at school. She tried to insult me, and for the first time in my life I had a scathing comeback. My elation quickly ended when she violently shoved my face into the water fountain. FML

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Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML

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Today, I'm living with my now ex-girlfriend of 9 years in the house we bought together. What's worse than that is the fact that 2 weeks before she told me she was unhappy and ended it, I had bought an engagement ring. I didn't get the chance to ask, and had to return the ring. FML

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Today, I found out that my parents used all of the college money I have been saving up for 8 years to buy a beach house. The reason they waited until now to tell me? A tree fell on it, and they need more money for repairs. FML

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Today, my son wants to go to Norway for our holiday and my husband wants to go to Disneyland, so of course they decide they can only choose by having a Nerf battle through the entire house. Meanwhile, I seem to be the only one taking anything seriously. This is why I despair of both of them. FML

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Today, I was walking around my house without a shirt on after my shower. I picked up my cat and walked around the corner… Just as my dad turned on the vacuum. Now I have 6 rather deep bloody holes in my shoulder and chest. FML

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