Jealousy

It wasn't me

By Tag - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - Perth

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 365

You deserved it 2 784

Modern anxieties

By Cam - 26/10/2022 06:00

Today, one of my best friends got over 6k followers on Instagram in less than 2 months. I've had my account almost two years and can't get over 500. I'm the one that taught her all the "cheats" to get into the algorithm. They worked for her but not for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 913

Holy jealousy, Batman!

By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, after just two days of asking me to officially be his girlfriend, my boyfriend started following his ex-fiancé. When confronted, he admitted to chatting with her for over two hours about an important family matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 164

Life choices

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 13:59

Today, after I used to look down on my brother for being a nerd, he now creates computer software for a living making megabucks. Meanwhile, I deliver lorry loads of gravel and cement to building sites for minimum wage, one step above breaking rocks for a living. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 1 877

Isn't there somebody you forgot to ask?

By poopface82 - 06/08/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, my fiancee and I had sex. Evidently, our dog didn’t consent because he destroyed my ear bud and tried to destroy my only pair of glasses during the act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 135

Sussy baka

By Every time I date a retail chick - 21/08/2022 13:00 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I learned that while I respectfully distanced myself from my female friends in the last two years of dating my girlfriend, as per her request, she has been making loads of new male friends on her "backup Snapchat." This includes guys from her work, or guys her girlfriends bring around her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 317

I'm so tired

By Anonymous - 24/09/2025 12:00

Today, after a very long day, I needed a hotel room but the only one available was a honeymoon suite. I was so tired, I just said yes. My wife just called demanding to know why I was charging a romantic room to our joint credit card, and if I’ve got a woman with me. I just want to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 92

Sinking feeling

By aftermath1991 - 03/09/2009 07:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 227

You deserved it 6 301

Young love

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 17:02

Today, I walked in on my son having sex with his girlfriend. An hour later, I did it again and got quite annoyed, and yelled at them for having sex again. He said, "What do you mean again? We haven’t finished yet." My son has been having sex for over an hour. Man, do I feel inadequate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 2 157

Sounds reasonable

By jenn8209 - 15/09/2022 01:30

Today, it’s my honeymoon. Before sexy time, my new husband made me do my first “act of loyalty” to him: text all my male contacts who were not family to “never speak to me again” and delete then from social media and cellphone. Apparently, I “can’t be hoeing” around during marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 762

You deserved it 650

Not OK

By Homeles - 16/06/2023 00:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was sick and tired of my husband talking to his female friend from high school all the time. They reconnected after 7 years and have been talking non-stop day and night, to the point of neglecting the marriage. I told him it was either me or her. He took off his ring and kicked me out of our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 353

Girls' trip, baby!

By Anonymous - 27/12/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my I told my girlfriend I was owed an explanation as to why I've been ghosted since her "Girls' trip" out of state. She said she just didn't want to deal with me being upset about her snapping a guy she spent the two days with, and they were all over each in a picture she tried to hide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 102

Adopt, don't shop

By Anonymous - 17/10/2022 00:00

Today, my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year, with no success. My husband's unemployable brother and (still legally married to another man) fiancée announced they are expecting. They have 7 kids between the two of them already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 149

Golden child

By Lennell - 24/08/2022 02:00

Today it's my twin brother's and my birthday, and like every year people wish him a happy birthday instead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 116

Never gonna give you up

By I’m not like other guys! - 24/11/2024 06:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my crazy ex has scared off yet another great woman. Thanks to all the douchebags that use “crazy ex” as an excuse to for their own shit behavior, no one believes me that mine is legitimately crazy. I didn’t cheat or mistreat her, I left because of her control and jealousy issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 110

What a catch

By Anonymous - 30/09/2021 02:00 - Australia

Today, rather than get me a birthday present, my boyfriend just got angry that I got gifts from other people. Apparently, it "made him feel guilty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 110

You should be dancing, yeah?

By Anonymous - 17/07/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a man joined our dance group who is at least 10 stone overweight with a belly hanging over his belt. When I tell you he is leaps and bounds a much better dancer than me, I'm underselling how good he is. I fully admit I’m jealous, but he makes all my efforts seem laughable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 447

The resentment…

By noah - 01/07/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, it’s been four months since my cheating ex-girlfriend dumped me for someone else’s dick. She was offered a monthly six figure OnlyFans contract. Since then she’s been living life care-free while I struggle to pick up the pieces. Back to being single and still working my ass off to be broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 155

Dumpster diving

By rummaging - 18/05/2016 13:46 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my boyfriend found the box of photos I've been saving for my daughter. He was convinced I was pining over her father and emptied the box into the dumpster behind our apartment. I'm still not done digging through the garbage to find the photos from the day my daughter was born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 047

You deserved it 1 309

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 14:00

Today, my girlfriend told me she’s visiting her male friend for her birthday. I told her I’m fine with it, but I'm really not. She’s going to spend a few days with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 973

Policy of truth

By Home Alone 33 - 24/02/2022 14:00

Today, after two months of being apart from my wife of five years, who'd returned to Panama to deal with a family issue, she innocently slips into conversation that she’s been hanging out with her high school boyfriend. When challenged, she responded, “You get to see me all the time!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 114

Insecure dudes everywhere

By sadcation - 13/08/2023 16:00

Today, my boyfriend gave me an ultimatum: either cancel my amazing work trip or stay with him. I chose the trip and he assured me he’d be gone by the time I got back. His issue? My boss thought it’d be cheaper to get an AirBnB instead of getting us all hotel rooms, and that men are also going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 263

Jerk

By GogglesGoggles - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 467

You deserved it 3 734

Sweet Sixteen

By Hailie - 14/07/2021 20:01

Today, it was my Sweet 16. My cousin threw a tantrum in the middle of it. She popped balloons, threw chairs around, and threw my gifts off the balcony. Reason being, she turned 16 last year and didn’t get a party. She perhaps forgot that last year we were in a pandemic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 150

You deserved it 160

Missed opportunities, mixed signals

By Anonymous - 25/11/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Bexleyheath

Today, a friend told me he thought I was hot and we ended up having lunch together. I like him and we’ve already arranged a second date, but when I mentioned this to someone else, she got pretty upset. Turns out she liked me and had been dropping hints for a while. No clue what’ll happen to my friendship with her… FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 167

Red flag

By Anonymous - 17/05/2024 13:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my boyfriend is so insanely insecure that he actually got jealous when a nearly 80 year-old man told me I had a beautiful smile while grocery shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 135

A tad insecure

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Anchorage

Today, I confronted my girlfriend over how she and a male friend have been going out together, drinking and partying, and at one point holding hands in the street. She angrily accused ME of cheating, because "confronting people like that" is apparently something only cheaters themselves do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 904

You deserved it 5 150

Uneasy feeling

By Anonymous - 02/10/2022 06:30 - United States - Grafton

Today, and for a while, I’ve noticed one of my closest friends getting a little to friendly with my boyfriend. Maybe I’m just reading too far into it, but then again maybe I’m not? I really want to be wrong about this and I’m pretty sure he would never hurt me, but I’m scared something’s going on that I don’t know about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 297

Unreasonable

By Whipped af - 05/10/2023 01:30

Today, my wife forced me to delete a female friend’s number off my phone because she’s jealous of our friendship. She then showed me a demonstration of what will happen if I contact her again, with a photo she got from her Facebook, gasoline, and a match to “make sure we understand each other.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 230

For nice coworkers only

By squizzlebee - 24/02/2017 03:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I saw on Facebook that a friend left her job where I also used to work, as she posted a picture of her farewell gifts, including cards, balloons and cookies. Normally, I'd be happy for her, except when I left I was told they'd "stopped doing farewell presents", and as such, I'd got nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 590

You deserved it 766

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Dogs Messy Animals Cute Love Miscellaneous ACAB Cops Thief NSFW Sex Intimacy Fight #FAFO Parents Sexism Kids Swimming pool Disney Money Abuse Health Gross Poopoo peepee Farts Cheating Shopping Weird Holidays Vacation

The Top

Today, I had to rush home from work to help my parents, who are both wheelchair users, because they were having sex and fell between the bed and the wall. With both of them unable to walk, they were stuck there, so the first thing I saw walking into their room was mom's bum hole staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 69

Today, I knew my girlfriend's dad owned a security company. What I did not know was that he treats his employees like family, so my girlfriend has about 40 scary uncles who’ve known her since she was a baby, and most of them are ex-military. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 122

You deserved it 411

Today, I ordered a Pide with extra chilies. They must have understood, "Put all the chilies you have on my Pide." I now know what hellfire tastes like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 772

Today, I realised that my closeted gay friend has dated more women this year than I have in my 28 years of life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 290

You deserved it 2 774

Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 122

Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 083

You deserved it 2 755