PureAussie

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Pureaussie's favorite FMLs

By Blondie - 23/03/2009 20:37 - United States

Today, I got a phone call from a detective in response to my stolen car that has been missing since St. Patrick's Day. He told me that he had found my car, but was chuckling the whole time. Turns out, I had parked my car in a different lot. I haven't had it for a week. It was never stolen. FML

agreeclassic 16 248

vote type 1 92 863

By ABBenzin - 01/02/2012 16:11 - United States

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

agreeclassic 41 466

vote type 1 3 790

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 15:01 - United States

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

agreeclassic 62 655

vote type 1 4 853

By SydIsPrettyCool - 04/08/2011 05:44 - United States

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

agreeclassic 50 166

vote type 1 3 399

By Summer_Jane - 03/02/2011 10:40 - United States

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

agreeclassic 45 184

vote type 1 4 514

Summer_Jane app_comment_confession_title

Summer_Jane 0

Friday 4 February 2011 19:01

Seriously - you guys rock. I laughed waaay too much reading all your comments. And for all you guys who were asking how did I not notice the pee? -- Yeah, I keep asking myself that, too. - It was one of those crazy patterned (ugly) cushioned chairs, so I couldn't tell it was damp. I_did_smell something, but doctors' offices have a lot of smells (as do elderly people...), so I didn't really think about it too much. But yeah...next time I'm assuming the worst.