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Insurance's favorite FMLs

By Maestro - 01/12/2008 06:09 - France

Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML

agreeclassic 62 568

vote type 1 4 054

Zinger

By LZapped - 08/06/2015 13:35 - United States - Mundelein

Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at stressing out, so I have something to fall back on if I bomb the test." To which she replied, "And masturbating, you've always excelled at that." FML

agreeclassic 29 405

vote type 1 5 350

By ihatecoldfeet - 29/03/2015 08:54 - United States - Lavina

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

agreeclassic 30 774

vote type 1 2 732

ihatecoldfeet app_comment_confession_title

ihatecoldfeet 11

Sunday 29 March 2015 21:37

hey op here, wow the things city people don't understand! First off, each and every calf must be vaccinated or they could become Ill.Second I wasn't in front of the calf, the person holding the calf let go of it unexpectedly

By smiles - 03/12/2014 01:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

agreeclassic 33 168

vote type 1 7 177

Thief

By anonymous - 28/10/2014 03:40 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

agreeclassic 29 901

vote type 1 39 867