MYxNAMExIS

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Myxnamexis's favorite FMLs

No escape

By natty - 16/03/2009 16:02 - United States

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

agreeclassic 46 315

vote type 1 203 418

By vrossie_ - 08/09/2013 05:56 - United States

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

agreeclassic 55 758

vote type 1 4 211

vrossie_ app_comment_confession_title

vrossie_ 15

Monday 9 September 2013 21:43

Yea it was clever. I shared it to my Biology class and they all laughed.

By /(•'_'•)\ - 07/09/2013 16:59 - United States - Ballwin

Today, while working at Subway, I was about to take a guy's order. He quickly held up a hand and asked for someone else to make his sub, because he doesn't like "ugly people" touching his food. FML

agreeclassic 56 925

vote type 1 3 847

By ...thanks - 07/09/2013 14:17 - United States

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

agreeclassic 56 709

vote type 1 4 892

Unionize!

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - West Hartford

Today, I found out the unionized cleaning people that empty the garbage and clean the toilets make $19/hr and have more paid time off than I do with my college degree. FML

agreeclassic 52 754

vote type 1 7 530