Aerosmith71

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Aerosmith71's favorite FMLs

By UnluckyInk - 18/02/2013 08:50 - United States - Manlius

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

agreeclassic 20 325

vote type 1 49 755

Get out

By Anonymous - 10/08/2014 17:24 - Germany - Würzburg

Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML

agreeclassic 51 264

vote type 1 3 246

Pants on fire

By Anonymous - 04/12/2009 02:17 - United States

Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML

agreeclassic 55 118

vote type 1 2 520

By Anonymous - 23/12/2016 08:23

Today, I had guests over for a Christmas party. One of them wore new blue jeans and managed to get large dye stains on three different walls. They won't come off. Guess who has to paint his living room again. FML

agreeclassic 6 993

vote type 1 514

Afraid of being humiliated

By ShittyEnding - 04/11/2019 00:00

Today I have surgery for my knee, I have had the poops since 3 am and I am scared to shit myself during surgery. FML

agreeclassic 1 806

vote type 1 160