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Stoic_fml's favorite FMLs

By BerryRockstar - 21/04/2009 17:37 - United States

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

agreeclassic 76 786

vote type 1 17 816

BerryRockstar app_comment_confession_title

BerryRockstar 9

Thursday 23 April 2009 13:25

AAAHH I can't believe I posted this on here and now i have to EXPLAIN myself to you people. Well there's the thing. 1) This was totally not a "Today" but a totally "Last November" 2) He was wearing headphones when we got into it, so why should i help him any 3) This was the FIRST time we'd done it, so HE was the bad lay 4) We're not dating anymore (I broke up with him) 5) FML anyway for wasting so much time with him I know i cheated on the "today" thing, but who hasn't. It just says that they all relatively START with "today" and END with FML. I hope this answers a couple of questions.

By I_Am_The_Edge - 11/06/2009 16:06 - United States

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

agreeclassic 163

vote type 1 2 768

By Jebus - 07/06/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

agreeclassic 29 149

vote type 1 61 006

By Anonymous - 07/06/2009 14:26 - United States

Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML

agreeclassic 13 385

vote type 1 132 041

By deucelututi - 31/05/2009 12:03 - United States

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

agreeclassic 26 196

vote type 1 81 220