azertyuiop_fml

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Azertyuiop_fml's favorite FMLs

The bitch is back

By thatsucks - 28/02/2009 11:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later, I got a text saying, "I just dropped the bitch off, I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I later asked him about it. He said, "Megan, I have no idea what you're talking about." My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

agreeclassic 1 291 232

vote type 1 143 534

By Eet- - 13/10/2011 19:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

agreeclassic 36 220

vote type 1 4 269

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 07:22 - United Kingdom

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

agreeclassic 48 900

vote type 1 5 037

Not a Bio major

By Anonymous - 27/06/2011 13:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

agreeclassic 67 155

vote type 1 8 145

Oh no

By marriedwithfamily - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML

agreeclassic 87 727

vote type 1 3 591