amejia1981

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Amejia1981's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 16:45 - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

agreeclassic 48 877

vote type 1 11 299

By lights on forever - 02/08/2013 20:57 - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

agreeclassic 54 911

vote type 1 9 213

You must be kidding

By offuckingcourse - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

agreeclassic 60 335

vote type 1 20 649

By Serum - 05/08/2013 16:41 - United States - Wichita

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

agreeclassic 54 703

vote type 1 5 549

By pong - 06/08/2013 21:59 - France - Toulouse

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

agreeclassic 46 031

vote type 1 4 074