KaPs_NiNja

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Kaps_ninja's favorite FMLs

The office, but worse

By officeditz - 04/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out, "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by, "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML

agreeclassic 27 619

vote type 1 5 741

Memories

By joanne - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

agreeclassic 23 499

vote type 1 2 093

By Sabraynay - 28/09/2011 06:47

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

agreeclassic 41 065

vote type 1 3 306

Gross, so gross

By Yuuucky - 26/09/2011 16:58 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

agreeclassic 36 820

vote type 1 17 184

By Anonymous - 25/07/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML

agreeclassic 49 006

vote type 1 4 491