soemei

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Soemei's favorite FMLs

By JLoistheBomb - 11/02/2009 00:01 - United States

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

agreeclassic 13 684

vote type 1 76 632

By friendless1004 - 12/11/2015 16:55 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML

agreeclassic 13 986

vote type 1 29 193

Sensual world

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 15:05 - United Kingdom - Eastleigh

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

agreeclassic 30 278

vote type 1 3 024

Self-bodyshaming

By Anonymous - 01/10/2015 12:16 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I saw my ex-boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML

agreeclassic 26 442

vote type 1 6 706

By Gassy - 21/09/2015 14:45 - Australia - Rydalmere

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

agreeclassic 31 392

vote type 1 3 295