App

FMyLife

search






FMyLife FMyLife
search
​



    : 320



    The more you know

    SHUT UPPPPP - 14/09/2025 00:00

    Today, my man learned that "boner" used to mean "mistake." Now he won't stop referring to every mistake someone makes as a "boner", laughing like a hyena every single time. FML
    299
    96
      

    Slick

    Anonymous - 19/04/2025 22:00 - United States

    Today, I had a meeting with my team, and at the end, we were all excited about a new project. I tried to be casual and give one of my coworkers a high-five, but he didn’t see me and started walking away. I awkwardly high-fived myself while hoping anyone else didn't see me either. FML
    299
    119
      

    Parklife!

    Anonymous - 23/07/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

    Today, I took my dog to the park. He ran straight into a muddy pond, came back to shake himself off, and got mud all over my freshly cleaned white hoodie. A stranger passing by gave us a thumbs up and said, “Good boy!” I'm not sure who he was talking to. FML
    299
    207
      

    Parenting is tough

    Paul - 18/01/2026 03:00

    Today, I rushed to a pharmacy with a sick toddler and handed the pharmacist my insurance card. He looked at it and said, “This expired six months ago.” I’d been using the digital copy on my phone the whole time and didn’t realize my insurer had changed my group number. I left with a $120 bill and a sticky-handed kid who refused to take medicine. FML
    299
    138
      

    IT'S EVERYWHERE!!

    Anonymous - 25/06/2025 08:00 - United States

    Today, I spilled flour all over the floor and myself, and it took me eight billion years to clean up and there is still flour haunting me. FML
    299
    186
      

    Bad timing

    Trashed - 04/10/2025 22:00

    Today, I'm getting ready to move and so I woke up early to get a bunch of trash to put out. For months our pickup has been so late, it usually happens the next day. Today they came at 6:30 AM, while I was in the bathroom. Nothing was put out yet. FML
    298
    161
      

    Motherly odor

    Anonymous - 07/11/2025 15:00

    Today, my daughter said, “Mommy, you’re my favorite person!” Then she added, “Because you smell like mac and cheese.” FML
    298
    116
      

    Gassy

    Anonymous - 14/01/2026 00:00

    Today, as I was walking out of my building that I have just moved into to walk my dog, a kind neighbour held the door open for us. Just as I walking walking though, I let out the loudest stinkiest fart in history (thanks fertility meds). I guess I’ll have too move out now… FML
    298
    161
      

    Good or bad news?

    Bombaclotttt - 11/09/2025 09:00

    Today, I decided I was gonna take a pregnancy test after being two months late. I bought two because I was sure it would give me a positive. That same night I got my period. FML
    298
    98
      

    Winky

    XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX - 11/04/2025 21:00 - Romania

    Today, I was going to have sex with a girl, but when I got my dick out she said, "You got a nice winky." Who the fuck calls a dick a winky unless they're in kindergarten? Felt like I brought home a toddler. FML
    298
    189
      

    Did the rescue work?

    Hero of the day - 19/12/2025 00:00

    Today, I tried a heroic rescue: a toddler’s teddy stuck on a fifth-floor balcony. I borrowed a ladder, climbed while sweating, reached it, and felt my trousers rip with a sound like Velcro in a thunderstorm. Dangling there with my superhero boxers exposed, three people filmed me while jeering. FML
    298
    94
      

    Hair today, gone tomorrow

    JB. - 25/10/2025 12:00

    Today, I've come to the realization that the only people to call me handsome are women above the age of 55, gay men, or women trying to get money from me and failing. I don't even get a compliment on a haircut after not cutting it for a year. FML
    297
    122
      

    Hey you

    Anonymous - 10/09/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a cute guy jogging towards me. I tried to look cool and gave him a smile. At that exact moment, my dog stopped to poop directly on my shoe. The guy jogged past without breaking stride and muttered, “Perfect timing.” FML
    297
    124
      

    Many such cases

    Anonymous - 04/12/2025 00:00

    Today, I was thinking again how I literally haven't had any real life friends for years. I know I don't interact with others much, especially recently, but why am I even ignored at school? Do I deserve this like people keep saying? I really like my online friends but why does everyone but me have someone IRL? FML
    297
    115
      

    What a ride

    Play It All Night Long by Warren Zevon - 18/05/2025 16:00 - United States - New York

    Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML
    297
    242
      

    Never the twain

    Anonymous - 21/01/2026 12:00

    Today, I did a stupid thing and told my work crush that I liked her. Now, instead of living unnoticed by her, I have to live with the knowledge she doesn’t like me and only talks to me because I’m a coworker. As a bonus, she did say at least I’m not one of those quiet ones who give off SA vibes. FML
    297
    197
      

    How bad do I look?

    Anonymous - 19/09/2025 00:00

    Today, a teenage Costco cashier whispered to me, “Things WILL get better.” FML
    296
    82
      

    I know her so well

    Oh neighhh - 13/09/2025 20:00

    Today, I went all out for a date with the girl of my dreams. I planned a romantic horse ride along a ridge down to a scenic valley for a picnic at sunset. Turns out she’s absolutely terrified of horses, and heights make her queasy. We ended up at the only restaurant nearby, McDonald’s. FML
    296
    168
      

    Let me in!

    Anonymous - 08/10/2025 22:00

    Today, I walked out of my apartment to take the trash out. The wind suddenly slammed the door shut behind me. The problem? I was only wearing boxers. My keys were inside, the trash bag ripped in my hands, and my neighbor’s dog barked at me like he had caught an intruder. FML
    296
    179
      

    Everything must go

    Anonymous - 21/11/2025 15:00

    Today, I realized that I’m a loser. My coworkers have hit 9k and 16k in total sales, and I’ve never even come close to those numbers. I swear I work hard, but everything just sucks. I fucking hate my life. FML
    296
    122
      

    Squeaking the day away

    Anonymous - 23/11/2025 12:00

    Today, I wore new shoes to work, which turned out to be the loudest shoes on the planet when walking on the office lino. Every step echoed like a cartoon villain entering a room. My coworker asked if I needed some WD-40. I still had six hours left to walk around. FML
    296
    93
      

    Mean boy

    Anonymous - 22/05/2025 13:00 - United States - Steele

    Today, ever since I had to rehome my cat because he was really mean, I've been wanting to get another one to replace him. I remembered a particular cat I found at the adoption center who seemed to like me a lot, and I decided I wanted to adopt her. When I got there, I found out she unexpectedly died yesterday. FML
    296
    317
      

    What is he hiding?

    Wtf - 04/10/2025 20:00

    Today, I asked my boyfriend if he had any secret sexual fantasies and promised that I wouldn't judge him, hoping to scratch my kinky itch. He looked at me wide-eyed, yelled, "IT'S A TRAP!!" and literally sprinted out of the room. FML
    296
    205
      

    Just be normal

    Chad - 17/11/2025 03:00

    Today, I told a cashier at a store, “You have such kind eyes.” She smiled, then pointed to the bagging station and said, “Those are my husband’s eyes, he’s right there.” I spent the next minute bagging my groceries in dead silence. FML
    296
    234
      

    Stiff

    Anonymous - 24/01/2026 15:00

    Today, I went to get checked out for my hip pain that hasn't worsened but isn't going away. When I practiced the stretches the physical therapist wanted me to do, it didn't hurt at all. When I did them much later by myself, it hurt like hell. I described my worst pain at the time as a 4. The pain now is a 6. FML
    295
    69
      

    Carpe Diem

    Anonymous - 01/11/2025 12:00

    Today, at the Y, someone told me I had a cute ass. I liked that until I realized: a) a woman said it; b) I'm a woman; c) I'm straight; d) it's my first compliment in 2 years even though I'm 25; and e) I'm so in need of positive attention I ran after this woman to ask for a date. Me desperate much? FML
    294
    276
      

    Hot hot hot

    Anonymous - 13/07/2025 14:00 - United States - Warren

    Today, I visited my mom because I don't see her much due to her living 30 minutes away from me. They just recently fixed their AC. A few hours before I was about to leave, it broke again. I tried to be patient but it heated up to over 80 degrees inside, and I'm really sensitive to heat. Thankfully they weren't offended. FML
    294
    189
      

    Felt cute, did delete later

    Anonymous - 27/03/2025 20:00 - Canada - Montreal

    Today, I posted a picture of myself in a new outfit on Instagram. A few minutes later, my mom commented, “You look gorgeous, but why does your shirt look like it’s from the 90s?” I was too embarrassed to respond, so I just deleted the post. FML
    294
    180
      

    Perfectionist

    Carlweezer5296 - 30/05/2025 17:00 - United States

    Today, I was working on a middle school project that needed to be at a 900 percent or above, this being my math level. I take a 8th grade algebra class so I needed mine to well be a 900, and after months of working I'd got it there. I got one answer wrong and it sent me to 860, where I’ve been for the last 12 hours. FML
    294
    130
      

    Get a taxi

    Anonymous - 25/12/2025 20:00

    Today, my wife walked into the bedroom in a vest top, a mini skirt, tights, and fuck-me heels. I thought I was gonna get some for the first time in months, until she came out with the dreaded statement, “I’m off out with the girls, can you stay awake? I might need a ride home later.” FML
    294
    98
      
    • 70
    • 71
    • 72
    • 73
    • 74
    • 75
    • 76
    • 77
    • 78
    • 79

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I was taking the SAT and feeling really confident in my answers. When we were close to finishing, some idiot pulled the fire alarm. All of us have to retake it. FML
    4 673
    231
    Today, my first client as a freelancer screamed at me and threw a notebook at my head. I quit my job to become a freelancer because my boss would often scream and throw things at me. FML
    6 468
    602
    Today, I sat my husband down for a talk for him to stop going to his female coworker’s house until 1-2am. He insists they’re doing work projects. He became so offended that I thought otherwise that he thrashed the entire living room, stomped out of the house, and slammed the door, completely dislodging it. FML
    980
    157
    Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML
    41 779
    20 710
    Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML
    1 260
    358
    Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
    27 705
    3 105

    © VDM SAS,

    ​