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Maybe take the bus today?

By Lol - 10/02/2025 00:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I got into my car, started the engine, and started driving… only to realize my car was making a weird noise. Panic set in until I realized I was still in my driveway. The weird noise? The gate that I forgot to open, along with a trash can. FM

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 525

One off

By Craigsux - 13/05/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, my ex told me she got pregnant from when I was comforting her when her mother died. We were still friends, so I went to her house and held her while she cried. One thing led to another and we began fucking like rabbits. I was gonna propose to my girlfriend next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 1 184

A freak out for all to bee

By death to bees - 13/04/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, a bee buzzed towards me, so I screamed and started frantically flailing and thrashing my arms, praying it wouldn't sting me. I threw my full cup of hot coffee in the face of the man next to me, and launched my laptop out of its bag and onto the pavement, where it broke in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 859

Where are we going?

By Anonymous - 02/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I got into an Uber, excited for the date I was going to. After about 20 minutes, I had a confused conversation with the driver, because it seemed like we were going to the wrong address. I checked the app, I'd booked a ride to my ex’s place out of habit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 615

Do you have no sense of smell?

By Anonymous - 01/10/2025 09:00

Today, I tried to surprise my partner by lighting candles all over the living room. It looked magical… until one candle melted the TV remote into a puddle of plastic. We spent our romantic evening trying to Google “How to change channels without a remote.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 444

I get around

By Anonymous - 09/06/2025 20:00 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my slutty ex, whom I'd dumped because she cheated on me, cheated on her new boyfriend as well. With me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 689

Read the room

By Sarah - 11/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I was at a family gathering and during a lull in the conversation I started to tell a joke to lighten the mood. Halfway through, I realized the joke was incredibly inappropriate. The room fell silent, and my grandma hasn’t looked at me the same since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 629

Boo! Get better jokes!

By Bad open mic night - 25/09/2025 00:00

Today, I thought I was alone in the breakroom, so as I reheated my lunch, I started practicing my stand-up comedy routine out loud. I was halfway through a joke about constipation when the vending machine guy poked his head out from behind the vending machine he was restocking and said, “Don’t quit your day job.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 417

Temptation… barbecue?

By being loyal sucks - 05/09/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I went to a colleague's house for a barbecue. Another colleague's wife was there, and when I say there were sparks between us, there were SPARKS! Later, her husband discreetly informed me that they're in an open relationship. I just wish I didn't have my boring unadventurous wife at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 784

How does this keep happening?

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, I sent an email to my boss complaining about how lazy one of my coworkers is and how I’m always having to pick up the slack. I realized too late that I'd Cc'd the coworker I was talking about. His reply was basically, “You’re welcome for doing my job while you waste your time complaining.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 520

Social media etiquette

By Anonymous - 08/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I tried to secretly screenshot my gym crush’s Instagram story. I sent them a heart reaction instead. Then I panicked and tried to unsend it. I then accidentally did it again. They messaged me, “You good?” No. No, I am not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 515

Fair and unbalanced

By Not Carrie Bradshaw - 23/06/2025 12:00 - United States - New York

Today, I tried to be efficient by balancing my coffee, phone, and laptop on the subway. One wrong move later, I had coffee all over my laptop, my shoes, and a very unimpressed stranger’s coat. They gave me a look that said, “Why do you even exist?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 586

Don't yuck peoples' yum

By I hate him - 06/10/2025 15:00

Today, my husband bought a Pokémon game and started playing it in bed. It's like I'm married to an eight year-old boy. Why can't I have a normal man, who reads books or even plays normal games for an adult? I can barely look at him without feeling ashamed for settling with such an overgrown child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 1 073

Sharing is caring

By Lost Reggie - 02/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, my generosity towards friends, family, artists, Patreon, and Twitch streamers has left me on the brink of financial instability. I was counting on ROI to keep helping others, but now I need to set firm boundaries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 734

The DIY trap

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 15:00

Today, I tried to save money by fixing a leaky sink myself. Fifteen minutes and three tools later, I had flooded under-sink cabinets and a new appreciation for plumbers. My landlord arrived with a wrench and a look that said ‘you’ll learn.’ I learned to call professionals first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 386

Fight, flight, or freeze

By Broken - 03/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, a guy approached me at a party. He made small talk and said he wanted to get to know me. I've had enough of men's bullshit after what my exes put me through, and chimed back with, "Why? So you can then leave me for someone else when you get bored with me?" I do this to every potential suitor, and I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 793

Looking good

By Gracie - 20/05/2025 12:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, at the gym, I caught sight of myself in the mirror while lifting weights and thought, “Damn, I look good!” I smiled. Then I realized the mirror was actually a window. A group of people outside had been watching me flex with a shit-eating grin on my face for God know how long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 564

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 18/04/2025 00:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I tried to make it right by visiting my girl in the hospital after she had our baby. I fucked up by freaking out and dumping her since I didn’t feel ready, but now wanted to do the right thing. When I got there, another guy was kissing her and holding my baby. My best friend/cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 1 143

FOR SALE

By Only me - 07/04/2025 22:00 - France

Today, on the advice of a girl from sales, I sent a company-wide email with the subject line, "FOR SALE - 2010 Toyota Camry." I realized the social faux pas a minute later when my department head replied-to-all, "FOR SALE - half eaten sandwich." Now everyone thinks I’m a dumbass for confusing company emails for Craigslist, and for believing anyone who works in sales. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 540

Bold fashion statement

By Ethan - 15/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I decided to wear socks with sandals while I ran some errands. The first person I saw was an old friend who looked at me, then looked down at my feet, and then just shook their head and said, “Why? Just… why?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 540

This isn't relevant to my interests

By Alan Alda's Dog - 02/07/2025 09:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I wanted to call my mom to ask for advice but called my boss instead. I panicked and ended up talking about weekend plans like nothing was wrong. She now knows way too much about my personal life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 456

How does this keep happening?

By Anonymous - 27/12/2025 15:00

Today, I accidentally liked a coworker’s old social media photo while scrolling at 2 a.m. Panicking, I unliked it immediately, knowing full well notifications exist. The next morning, they casually asked if I was “up late.” I considered quitting my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 381

Basic night out

By Anonymous - 05/02/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I went out and got very drunk. I talked to a girl and some other people. As the girl left, someone told me to follow her as she didn't seem to know where she was going. As a drunk, socially inept idiot, I did so for about 20 seconds, only for someone to point me out to her and quickly guide her away. Then I lost like £700. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 651

Erm, OK?

By Anonymous - 21/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Queens

Today, I farted in bed like my parents do. It sounded like an unexpected trumpet. Luckily no one was nearby. I usually don't fart. It took me by surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 433

Yada yada yada

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to look productive in a meeting by nodding along, only to realize too late that I was actually nodding off. When my head dropped forward, it made a loud thud on my desk, and everyone stopped talking at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 372

Good chat

By UBER KAREN MODE - 03/10/2025 09:00

Today, I joined what I thought was my weekly team meeting on Zoom. I launched into a rant about our broken coffee machine, which I've been asking for weeks for it to be fixed, before someone interrupted with, “Erm, this is a parent-teacher conference.” I don’t even have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 424

Overfamiliarity

By Anon office worker - 07/09/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, I went in to hug my boss after a big project presentation, all because I misread his body language and thought he was opening his arms to me, but he was actually reaching for his jacket. I basically hugged his sleeve while he stared at me like I’d lost my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 357

Winner winner, chicken dinner

By Anonymous - 10/01/2026 09:00

Today, I wrecked my car on the way to work, all because I could get free food from a restaurant for my team winning a game. My husband suggested it. Now I’m without a car, with massive hospital bills, all for the most expensive fast food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 462

Control freak

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 20:00

Today, I told my girl to go upstairs and change her shorts to pants since my friends were over watching the game. She came back down wearing even shorter booty shorts and a tube top. I was so pissed, I couldn’t even enjoy the match, and I know my friends are never gonna let me live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 1 249

I love your work!

By Anonymous - 24/03/2025 20:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was in a bodega when I spotted a celebrity I’ve had a huge crush on for years. I decided to go up and introduce myself, but instead of saying something cool, I panicked and shouted, "I love your cereal!" They looked confused, and I immediately realized I was staring at the wrong person, just someone who just looked a lot like them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 503

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, the only girl who likes me is a girl who is overweight and uses body acceptance as a reason to get mad at me for turning her down. Call me shallow but as someone who works out frequently, I don't want someone who douses herself with tattoos, thinking guys will fetishize her, instead of self-care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 581

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 849

You deserved it 3 882

Today, I asked my dentist for a sick note so I could get my lost filling put back in ASAP. According to her, being in pain 24/7 is not a medical condition that would justify immediate treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 107

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 526

You deserved it 4 914

Today, I told my mom that I struggle with depression. She then told me that she thinks that I always seem to suck the life out of a room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 217

You deserved it 247

Today, I found out that the girl I went on a date with, and refused to sleep with me because she, “doesn’t have sex on the first date” had no qualms about sleeping with my buddy on his first date with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 331