Your everyday life stories

"Your text here"

Rerere - 24/02/2025 03:00 - Australia

Today, I gave my friend what I thought was the perfect birthday gift, a personalized mug with her favourite quote. When she opened it, she looked confused so I explained. Then she said, "I’ve never ever said that." I realized I'd printed a quote from a completely different friend. I awkwardly told her, “Well, now you have something new to say!" FML

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Unboyfriendable

Emotional Damage - 25/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML

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How are people still doing this?

Anonymous - 08/03/2025 15:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I texted my friend to ask if she wanted to grab lunch. She didn't respond, so I followed up with, "You alive? Or just avoiding me?" An hour later, I realized I'd texted my boss. He replied with a very professional, "I’m alive, thank you for asking. Lunch is a bit early for me today." FML

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Briefs

Anonymous - 17/03/2025 07:00 - United States

Today, I went to donate some of my old underwear that I never wear and were in too nice a condition to throw in a dumpster. I was given the runaround by two different people who had no clue where the clothes donation box was, until I gave up and finally found it in the opposite direction. That took me an hour and a half. FML

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Oh well…

Bobert - 27/04/2025 04:00 - Romania

Today, I was out of town on a work trip. I'd fought with my wife before leaving, and I felt bad, so I called her and poured my heart out, telling her how much I loved her. She sighed and said, "Okay, anyway…" and complained about bills and chores for ten minutes, then wouldn't say she loved me. FML

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That's that me espresso

Big Clive - 14/05/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I stayed late at the office to finish work and thought I was alone. I put on my headphones and started singing along to Sabrina Carpenter at full volume while filing paperwork. Halfway through, I turned around to see our cleaning staff staring at me. FML

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Hotly debated topic

Office Space 2025 - 23/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my coworker and I debated whether 100 average dudes could take down one gorilla. He said, "Only if 30 of us are willing to die." I disagreed, so we started working it out, using a whiteboard to do the math… which we forgot to wipe before the next meeting. HR now has us on a watchlist. FML

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Priorities

Anonymous - 15/06/2025 22:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I wanted to spend some time with my girl, but she was more interested in her phone and 90 Day Fiancé. Bored, I went to play video games. Ten minutes later, she came looking for me and yelled that I clearly prefer video games to her. FML

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Never mix business with pleasure

Anonymous - 23/06/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was stuck in an elevator with my workplace crush for 10 minutes. Trying to break the silence, I nervously said, “I’ve always thought you were amazing.” She smiled and whispered, “I thought you were the new maintenance guy.” I work in marketing. FML

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This is fine

Anonymous - 30/06/2025 11:00 - Australia - Yarrambat

Today, I woke up hungover and with the lovely surprise of my monthly cycle. Now I’m at work, sitting with a blaring faulty fire alarm that I have no way to turn off. Everyone who can fix it is on holiday. FML

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SCREAM!

Anonymous - 10/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Newport

Today, I was in the bathroom at a party when I noticed a spider the size of a golf ball on the toilet paper roll. I screamed, tripped over my own feet trying to flee, and fell right into the bathtub. Everyone at the party heard. FML

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My love language is gibberish

Anonymous - 18/07/2025 00:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I tried to sweet talk my crush by texting them in Spanish using Google Translate. I wanted to say, “You look amazing today,” but it translated to something like, “Your fish smells weird today.” They responded with a confused emoji and “¿Qué?” FML

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Stalkers everywhere

Anonymous - 10/09/2025 22:00

Today, I got another "secret admirer" letter from someone at work. I'm now talking to the police, yet again, because I'm a middle school teacher and suspect it was from one of my underage students. Nobody warned me about this when I became a teacher. FML

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I'm OK, I swear

Anonymous - 18/09/2025 00:00

Today, I ordered fries at a drive-thru, then drove away without paying. Realizing my mistake, I panicked and circled back, only to drive past the window again. The worker just stared at me as if I was pulling off the slowest robbery in history. FML

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Read the chatroom

Paul - 25/09/2025 03:00

Today, I logged into what I thought was my team’s Zoom meeting. I turned my camera on, waved, and said, “What’s up, nerds?” Unfortunately, I'd somehow joined a client onboarding call for the CEO. Nobody said anything for ten seconds, and then the CEO asked, “And you are…?” FML

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Cat owners can relate

Anonymous - 26/10/2025 03:00

Today, I sleepily sprang out of bed to battle a determined off-brand rattly Roomba for the right to clear up a large puddle of cat barf. Guess who won… FML

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Bad hair day

- 31/10/2025 12:00

Today, I went all out for my kids’ crazy hair day at school. I’m talking hair dye, liberty spikes, accessories, the whole nine. I was super proud of myself and the kids were ecstatic! That is until we showed up and realized that today was pajama day. Crazy hair day is tomorrow. FML

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Classic

Anonymous - 09/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early by slowly backing my chair away from the table. One wheel got stuck, the chair flipped, and I took the loudest fall of my life in total silence. FML

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I can't breathe

Anonymous - 14/12/2025 20:00

Today, my parents promised to drive me to my grandma's house instead of me taking the bus.I was so excited that I could finally have a week away from my suffocating parents but my dad cancelled tonight, so I'm stuck and secretly crying because if they'd have let me take the bus, I'd be at my grandma's, AWAY FROM THEM. FML

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Life choices

Anonymous - 18/12/2025 09:00

Today, I love eating cherry tomatoes. I was eating them last week, and left some on the counter. Yesterday, I ate two from the box again. It was rotten and sour. I didn't think or spit it out. Now I have severe stomach ache that I can't move. Why am I like this? FML

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Am I still here?

- 12/01/2026 03:00

Today, I walked into the wrong classroom, sat down, took notes for ten minutes, and only realized my mistake when the professor asked me to introduce myself and explain why I was there. I wasn’t even enrolled in the class. FML

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Love you!

bad son - 13/01/2026 22:00

Today, I texted my mom, “Love you!” and immediately followed it with, “Oops wrong chat” except it wasn't the wrong chat. She replied, “???” and now she thinks I only say I love her by accident. FML

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Stiff

Anonymous - 24/01/2026 15:00

Today, I went to get checked out for my hip pain that hasn't worsened but isn't going away. When I practiced the stretches the physical therapist wanted me to do, it didn't hurt at all. When I did them much later by myself, it hurt like hell. I described my worst pain at the time as a 4. The pain now is a 6. FML

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Threadbare

I was just joking - 26/01/2026 09:00

Today, I found out the hard way that other people can see your replies on Threads. I’m now sleeping on the couch and my girlfriend gave me 10 days to find another place to live. FML

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Get lucky, sound of the summer

Anonymous - 08/02/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my date went off on a 30 minute tangent about how MGTOW is going to be good for society and blah blah blah. He was going to get lucky tonight, as I really wanted some dick to be honest, but he talked himself out of any chance whatsoever by boring me to death. FML

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I'm always right

Anonymous - 13/02/2025 05:00 - United States - Crestview

Today, my dad got mad at me because after he told me that when I'm not going anywhere to stop putting on perfume, I told him I wasn't wearing any. I took a shower this morning, my hair is still wet. When I tried to explain this, he got pissed and said that I just needed to accept when he told me I was wrong and shit. FML

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Mixed emotions

Glen - 26/02/2025 04:30 - India - Ooty

Today, my girlfriend of 5 months walked in on me naked while I was on the toilet. She proceeded to tell me that she wants to watch me taking a dump. I'm both shocked and too hard to do what she told me. FML

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Stick to grasping at straws

Anonymous - 14/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I heroically caught a falling cup of coffee that I'd knocked off the counter. I thought I'd saved the day, until I realized I didn’t actually grab the cup; I'd grabbed the hot coffee directly with my bare hand. I spent the next few seconds hopping around like a maniac while everyone in the office watched. FML

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Welcome to the machine

Lol - 31/03/2025 20:00 - United States - Austin

Today, after I spent the last year working overtime to prove myself at my tech job, I got an email saying I was laid off due to “strategic restructuring.” My boss posted a vacation picture right after. FML

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Party pooped

Anonymous - 12/04/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, it was my Sweet Sixteen. Only two of my friends showed up, and they spent the whole night texting their boyfriends. After several failed attempts to do something fun or even get them to talk to me, I got up and left the room, and didn't come back. They didn't notice. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

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Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

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Today, my roommate in our barracks posted trans hate-speech on Facebook. My choices are to report him and risk ending his military career, confront him and risk him finding out I'm trans, or do nothing and live in fear of him figuring me out. FML

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Today, I'm starting to realize my wife's baby loves me more than my wife. FML

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Today, my roommate and I got charged $100 for having a cat in our apartment. I was only babysitting the cat so my neighbors wouldn't get caught and fined. We got caught because my roommate reported the people downstairs for having a noisy dog, so they reported that someone else in the building had a cat. FML

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Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

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